Would you date someone who’s a 10/10 in looks and personality, but very dumb?
I was on a date with this seemingly perfect girl. While I was telling her about my recent trip to Vietnam, she asked how I could possibly have been there, since Vietnam was “a war from long ago and not a country.”
Are you sure she wasn’t joking?
Like that would be an excellent deadpan response if the other person knew they were playing stupid.
Date ? Sure.
Marry ? Prolly not.
I’d give her a chance, maybe she just REALLY isn’t into geography. (Although, that is pretty dumb)
If she constantly misunderstood everything I said, it wouldn’t work out for very long, but if she was just lacking exposure and was interested and learned new information as it was presented, I think we could get along just fine.
That’s certainly a naive thing to say, but intelligence presents itself in different ways. She may not know about geography or history, but maybe there are other topics she’s more informed about?
I’d also say how young she is should be considered. Someone in their early 20’s not aware Vietnam exists? Embarsssing for sure but certainly more understandable than someone in their 40’s. In my personal opinion, someone being open to learning and growth is way more important than where they’re starting.
TLDR; definitely a cause for concern but I wouldn’t say it’s a deal breaker in and of itself. Get to know her better before deciding if you can be with her.
Agreed.
I would also be curious if she has any areas of interest where she is actually very quick and knowledgeable. If not, that might be cause for concern, but for all we know she just hates the humanities and is actually a wizard at higher mathematics. Especially since she’s young, there’s no real way to gauge whether it’s a lack of general intelligence or just a symptom of complete and total disinterest in a particular subject.
Also let’s not forget that pretty people can often get away with more than average looking people can, so they don’t have quite the same degree of pressure to perform in areas where they’re uninterested. If a quick, dazzling smile can unlock the ability to copy someone else’s homework or get the teacher to grant extra time on an assignment, well, school might be a little easier.
naive
Nonsense. Naive is thinking the French and Indian War must have been between France and India. The woman in the OP had enough information to come to the realization that Vietnam must be a place, but instead asked a question that suggests she was pondering the possibility of OP being a time traveler. That is stupidity.
I am not really answering your question, but I had this crush on a girl because she was 10/10 on looks and also seemingly innocent as a young kid. In the end, she was really immature on intelligence and emotionally. I wouldn’t date someone like her again.
I say I am not answering your question because you only provide an example of a fact she didn’t know. My answer is more general, this kind of thing you saw on her is something that the person I am describing could have done, easily. To me, personally, taking the whole bigger picture, with more examples like yours, plus some context, and given my previous experience, this is a red flag and make me just walk away from them…
So, to answer your question, give it a few more tries. Look how do they react when corrected (if they laugh then is quite cool and fun moment.) but if they feel “insulted” then there’s lack of emotional maturity too… that’s my red flag.
Depends on how they’re dumb. Your example is just amusing and pretty innocent - that doesn’t bother me at all. What would bug me is if it’s something that’s clearly screwing up their life. Like if they can’t hold down a job or get through basic everyday tasks without constantly fucking it up.
For me, intelligence isn’t about what you know - it’s about how you think. Can she grasp that Vietnam is an actual country once you explain it to her? If yes, then she’s not dumb - she’s just ignorant or uneducated. I can live with that. Especially with a 10/10 personality.
If she’s willing to learn and you don’t mind teaching, I’d say there isn’t a problem there.
My problem is when people actively don’t want to learn.
10/10 looks and personality and rich parents?
I’ll take her if you don’t.
Yeah, she got it, and she was actually curious about it. She also admitted on her own that she’s not the smartest person, she found school boring,
Self awareness goes a long way in the right direction.
and her parents basically told her to ignore it since they’d take care of everything. They have money, so she doesn’t need to work if she doesn’t want to
That’s a red flag. More on the parents than on her. What kind of smooth-brain tells their kids not to learn or work? How will she function in society once they’re gone?
I’d say instilling a desire to learn and work is something you should attempt, but based on what you say, that’s literally the only thing to worry about. Besides her parents apathy I mean.
Dumb can be helped. Most people tend to be "dumb" in the sense of lexical knowledge or lacking the understanding of logic, not the ability. Which means they CAN learn to become smarter, even if they require help and appropriate education (something the generic education system can't provide).
Perfect example are the three "worst students" in my high school class. They were troublemakers, because they didn't find the classes engaging, because they didn't understand them - all because they didn't understand the basics, as it wasn't taught to them in a way they could process it. I tutored them for a few months and every. single. teacher. No, I'm not joking, literally every single teacher made comments on their sudden improvements, often even testing them separately, not believing that students who just barely passed for 2-3 years suddenly were getting 80-90% on their tests.
So yeah, a lack of lexical knowledge is not a major issue for me. I'd definitely date someone who's attractive but dumb, because the latter can be "fixed".
What's more important in my opinion is their general attitude, approach to life. Are they kind? Are they a good person? How do they treat others - let that be friends, strangers, animals, waitstaff/service workers, etc.?
Dumb can be fixed, but an awful personality most often can't.
Not knowing something does not mean one is dumb, refusing to learn about it would be a safer indicator. How did she react when you explained her Vietnam was still a country and has been so for quite some time?
Also, wtop worrying her being 10/10 (or 0/10) or being the reincarnation of Einstein or… not Einstein, maybe? Was she an interesting person, you had a great time with, or not? That would be the only reason to date/not date someone, in my book… But I’m old and I don’t date.
Depends. If she’s from certain places, the ignorance kinda comes with the territory. But if she’s willing to learn and is aware of her ignorance, that’s a different thing.
To me, I couldn’t date someone dumb. I find intellectual stimulation sexy though. But if rather date an idiot with a good personality than someone smart who yelled at wait staff for example.
Some people are dumb, some lack education, some are ignorant and maybe there are more variations. You can learn till you drop dead, so lack of education would not instantly make me run. Stupidity is a harder nut, I need someone to talk to. I’m not sure if I could handle that.
Ignorance I can’t accept.
That depends on your priorities I guess. As long as we have compatible ideals and treat others similarly, then I’d give it a shot. I don’t necessarily want a partner who knows history or geography, just one that’s a good person I get along with and one that shares interests with me.
On a side note, I’d personally refrain from calling anyone dumb. Schools aren’t perfect and this person has lived a whole life just like you. They have learned things, just not the same things. If they’re a 10/10, I imagine they probably know a lot about health, fitness, fashion, and maybe makeup. Those are all valid and useful things to know.
Personality and character matter more than any particular type of intelligence.
That said, I would probably end up treatingthem poorly, not realizing how condescending my responses to those moments are.
I’m hoping to go back in late fall, riding a bike through the twisty mountain roads is unbelievable, but its too damn hot.
Also, you’ve given an example of ignorance, not stupidity. Stupidity is the desire to cling to ignorance, a refusal to learn.
I think the better question is why a woman with movie star charm would put up with someone who thought she was an idiot.
Seems like the relationship is doomed from the start if a simple response to an easy question antagonizes you.
Oh, god no. There was this girl I knew years and years ago who wasn’t even a 10/10. She was cute, but wasn’t even under consideration when I found out how dumb she was.
We were friendly, but I’d have to stop the conversation to define what I thought were basic vocabulary words.
Words like “consideration” and “vocabulary”.
It can work for some people long term if they truly accept the person as they are and don’t get frustrated by them.
But often there will come a point, after the honeymoon has worn off, and after you’ve had sex too many times to count, where you suddenly realize that you’re not actually ever having conversations, you’re explaining stuff you found interesting to them, and getting nothing back. It can also get more frustrating depending on personality. If they’re always flying off the handle about stuff on social media and you have to explain why it’s not true, it will wear on you. If you always have to be the one to do everything, either because she doesn’t know how, or because you don’t trust her to do it right, then it will wear on you.
Personally that’s why I stress the idea of a partnership so much now. I want an equal partner who does everything I can do (or at least, most of it).
That being said, dating a 10/10 for a while and having a lot of incredible sex is also not an opportunity to necessarily turn down, especially depending on your age. If you’re young, go for it, have some fun, learn some lessons, have a lot of amazing sex, but get out early. If you’re older, then consider whether or not you can really be around that person, day in, day out, forever. If not bail now.
404_realName
Emyria~
Tywèle [she|her]
SeductiveTortoise
TheReturnOfPEB
NOT_RICK
gustofwind
sexy_peach
ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠
adry
starlinguk
Libb
FRYD
alecsargent
Vandals_handle
roofuskit
UnderpantsWeevil
jordanlund