SleepyCatten (Joint Pain Arc)

Query for folks who live in Britain (or did for many years but have now escaped)

What terms of endearment / address do you hear or see get used in your region, usually at the end of sentences, and are they gendered?

e.g.,

Region: East Anglia
County: Essex
City/Town: (optional) Exampleville
Term: "mate"
Gender: can be both masc coded and (to some) neutral; varies by place and person
Age Range or Generation (Giver/Receiver): Gen X, Gen Y (Millenial)
Other info: can be a threat if stressed heavily ("How you doing, mate?), and can be used to intentionally misgender somebody

#GenuinelyAsking #AskFedi #linguistics #language #English #British #Britain #England #Wales #Scotland

Edits: Opened the question up to people who have escaped Britain; added a section for age/generation of the giver and receiver of the term; clarified that these might also be terms of address and go at the end of sentences.

Jan 4 at 11:16amWeb
Show threadmaeow Jan 4
@SleepyCatten I'm hearing all kinds of them in London, but mostly if it's genuine it's "darling" more than "love", and if it's malicious then "bro" or "mate"
Show threadSleepyCatten (Joint Pain Arc)Jan 4

@maeow What's really weird to us is that there are younger people who use bro and bruh as gender neutral terms 😮

We don't even like guys being used for a group that contains anybody who's not a guy 🥺

We're fine with most language shifts, especially new slang, but we loathe using masc terms as neutral, or making unisex clothing that's just rebranded masc styles and sizing.

Show threadim xyliaJan 4
@SleepyCatten i feel like terms of endearment chaninge much more by the age of people talking rather than region like mate and suff is kinda universal and will be hear every where but older people wouldnt use that and with older people it realy just depends on the person more than the place
Show threadSion [main]Jan 4

@SleepyCatten "duck" and ... it's complicated. It might even vary according to where on the arc of dialects that use it you are -- I grew up at one end, and am now living most of the way to the other. You'd never use it male-to-male, except I suppose partners might, but between strangers any other combination has circumstances under which it would be appropriate.

Like, I got called "duck" by the younger (but not young) man who came out to rescue my car yesterday.

Show threadSleepyCatten (Joint Pain Arc)Jan 4
@sparrowsion We should probably add an age category to our query, as the age/generation of both sides of the interaction will make a mahusive difference.
Show threadRussell PhillipsJan 4

@SleepyCatten Region: West Midlands
County: Staffordshire
City: Stoke-on-Trent
Term: "duck"

"Duck" is used a lot in Stoke-on-Trent. It's gender neutral, used by all genders and ages to all genders and ages, as far as I can tell.

Coming from South Yorkshire, I used to use "mate" a lot, and "love" sometimes. When we moved here I adopted "duck", because I'm pretty sure I can't misgender someone by calling them duck.

Show threadSleepyCatten (Joint Pain Arc)Jan 4

@rpbook Like all these things, it definitely seems like there are big differences by region, generation, and individual experiences.

Some folks have had bad experiences with "duck", but many use it in the same neutral way you describe. We'd personally be quite happy hearing something like: "Y'alright duck?" or "Y'alright pet?"

It's the same with "mate" or "guys" we suppose. Heck, even the online trans+ gals / fems who use "bruh" with each other 😅

Show threadRussell PhillipsJan 4

@SleepyCatten I've not heard of anyone objecting to duck. I'd certainly not use it to anyone that didn't like it.

But yeah, there is a lot of regional variation.