@inthehands Apologies, because generally I wouldn't say this to someone I don't know that well?
I think you're not quite modeling some of what's being said to you. It isn't "we are defeatist and afraid to fight this necessary holy war", it's that people outside America are actual people with lives, priorities, and contexts. Our lives, the direction of our national politics, and the infrastructure of our societies do not revolve around What Americans Need or Do. We're actual societies who handle foreign policy independently and from our own informed decisions; we are not your colonies awaiting our instructions from inside the US because we can't read situations or make decisions ourselves somehow.
I know you're in a bad situation, and I sincerely hope you take this as it's meant, but it might clear things up to consider what you're encountering less as failing morale or defeatism, more the ways some people are enforcing *basic interpersonal boundaries*. And appropriate ones, really.