phew thank god this narration is here to explain why there is football happening #monsterdon

what the fuck kind of environmentalist football team is this #monsterdon

narration: "my dad always used to say, on earth we have perfectly normally sized animals, no giant versions of animals anywhere. but man's greed will cause the animals to grow giant and become very mad about that."
#monsterdon

oh wow it's the nightmare i have every time i go backpacking in a real movie except the giant mosquitos don't drain me flat as a pancake #monsterdon

PR guy has no useful skills for resisting a giant mosquito draining, unlike our 150 pound, 45 year old all-american slabs of tackling and blocking over here #monsterdon

the giant animals are just all here already and everyone is just fine with that except the football guys. is this like the wicker man where the moral of the story is "dont go to other places and disrepect the local customs" #monsterdon

"why don't you go back to the tiny chickened place ya came from" #monsterdon

how is not everyone on this island already gigantic. surely one person would have tried it, and then if one person is a giant, you can't very well remain not being a giant yourself #monsterdon

what does football have to do with all the giant animals #monsterdon

ok now go back and tell everyone about the giant chickens because holy shit there are giant chickens and a food that makes things giant over there and that seems important for people to know #monsterdon

shh bro you're blowing your cover in what other circumstance would you ask someone if they have seen anything big #monsterdon

so it makes everything big by just doing a global linear scaling of all tissues, including tissues whose material properties change with volume scaling like exoskeletons and membranes and stuff. so that's why the maggots are so tough, their normally very squashable skins are now hard as bone from being scaled 100x #monsterdon

so that would mean that each individual hair follicle would be scaled as well, and rather than being a large mouse with same-size fur, it would be a giant mouse shooting out big rope-width hairs that would impair the normal utility of hair, so eventually all giant mammals should lose all their hair because their extra-thick skins should provide insulation anyway #monsterdon

hang on who is this guy and why does he employ a personal bacteriologist? #monsterdon

lady why don't you put the lid on your fucking food that makes things fucking giant #monsterdon

bacteriologist, picking up a hand full of slime: "there's nothing like this" #monsterdon

listen up football champ, when you go back to the island where things are mysteriously growing very large, why don't you spend even one second making a plan for what to do about things being very large. #monsterdon

so we would expect to see some 40 story skyscraper wasp nest right #monsterdon

giving absolutely no stage direction to the bacteriologist so she is just standing there with a blank smile, unmoving at all times she is not talking #monsterdon

this guy is going to feed the baby the giant food, why else is would there be a baby happening right now #monsterdon

you could fit like 10 wasps inside that thing, the wasps are like 100x their original size #monsterdon

mister, mister come quick. the bacteriologist was taken away by the rats and she hasn't had a line in 5 minutes so she hasn't been able to move or do anything to get out of this very climable hole #monsterdon

you all need to focus on getting the fuck out of here. if the stuff is just leaking out onto your lawn, there is probably a much larger vein of the stuff pressing up through the area and everything is about to get very giant around here in order of inverse maturation duration. aka the sun is about to be blotted out by every insect #monsterdon

mice have a gestation time of like a month and are pinkies for a week and are still babies for two more. this lady has had so much lead time on the giant mouse problem and did nothing #monsterdon

thinking about a giant mammal whose heart is still beating at 500bpm #monsterdon

the heart just fibrillating like a subwoofer pumping the blood at mach 1 #monsterdon

here's a good idea how about you call anyone and tell them the animals are giant now #monsterdon

holy hell the protagonists are discussing the problems with biological scaling in the movie what the fuck #monsterdon

fuck that generator, it knew this day was coming #monsterdon

pitching a sequel: "if the mice got 100x as big... then their brains got 100x as big... so therefore they must be super genius mice, and these are just the soldier mice that make it seem like they are still normal mice and the problem is that they are hungry, but meanwhile the mice have been forcing hostile takeovers of companies around the world under a labyrinth of shell corporations..." #monsterdon

the mouse eating the fucking pipe!!!!!!! so cute!!!! #monsterdon

mice that had no problem chewing their way through the walls of your house when they are 6cm long will have no problem chewing through your walls when they are 6m long. #monsterdon

everyone calling those things that are definitely mice "rats" is setting themselves up for failure when the actual giant rats come around and they are like a million times smarter and 5x as big #monsterdon

setting up a miniature house with all the little hidden spots where you can put peanut butter so you can make a whole railing of mice hanging and eating would be so fun #monsterdon