Update, the android radio did arrive, it was sixty bucks, it came with all the wires, a backup camera, TWO infrared remote controls (one normal one and one shaped like strap-to-your-steering-wheel in case your car's so old it doesn't have volume controls on the wheel (like mine)) and it's Fine
It advertised itself as having RDS, it has VERY RUDIMENTARY RDS, meaning it'll sometimes show the name of the station but not the title or artist.
It can talk to my aftermarket bolted-on steering wheel controls OK, and does volume and calls and mode switch and seek but weirdly NOT pause/play.
It's not actually an android radio as in a wee android computer with an amp and a shite radio chip, it's actually the new thing where this is a pretty basic not-android computer but you plug your phone in and all the crap on your phone comes up on the radio screen, which I guess does mean I don't have to download podcasts to two machines. It says it can do it wirelessly but I haven't figured that out yet.
It sounds... fine. I had a Kenwood in before, the Kenwood probably would've sounded audibly better than this if it were plugged into speakers that weren't set into steel and aimed at my ankles, but it's in a car ffs, you can spend two grand on a sound system in your car and it'll never sound better than a tenth of that spent in your house. It sounds the same as the Kenwood.
I wish the radio were a bit better but honestly, like... for sixty bucks, it's really, really hard to grumble.
I might stick one in the old car I'm trying to sell, and add $500 to the price.