What crossed my mind while eating dinner?
Ooh, torturing the Hanson brothers by shining bright lights in their faces.
Is that Dec having a solo career with The 9 and The 1?
What. The. Dickens. Is. That.?
The best Beastie Boys single, or is that Fighting Talk?
Great that they've tried a weekly #TOTP with no presenter. And a good episode to throw out as a backdoor pilot for TOTP Saturday.
Let's see if this audio post will work.
From the Radio 4 sketch comedy "Forty Nights in the Wildebeest", Dan Freedman and Nick Romero present their version of "Three lions".
"If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me" - The Bellamy Brothers.
No.
We haven't had a #TOTP Snip for months, but there was one here:
"Back of my hand" - The Jags
"The loneliest man in the world" - The Tourists
Annie in the white raincoat and matching haircut, with oodles of face paint to make a very striking look. George O'Dowd is probably watching and taking notes.
The song is absolutely brilliant, why do I not have a copy? Must rectify that.
"Message in a bottle" - The Police
Are we quite sure there isn't time for The Jags?
"Every day hurts" - Sad Café
We'll see in the second Mystery Year that #TOTP never showed the singer during the chorus of a song.
Clearly producer Paul Ciani was re-creating the glory years here. It's the chorus of the song, so we'll show a close-up of the backing singer! the guitar! the light fixture! anything but the singer!
It's almost the end of the show... shoot, we've not included #OneForTheDads.
Quick, get the &co to gyrate on the half-built Celebrity Squares set while we make sure the smoke cannon work.
We'll put some dad rock in the background in post-production.
"Don't bring me down" - Electric Light Orchestra
Got to love the talking stage fog there, much better than the official host.
"Cars" - Gary Numan
Is this what the future will sound like? All harsh electronic sounds, and video effects putting pictures in pictures?
Or is it going to be sub-Showaddwaddy montages of ancient tunes, and bands formed from kids who aren't yet a twinkle in their parents' eyes?
This show really perked up at the end.
"Reggae for it now" - Bill Lovelady (and credits)
Our first Mystery Year was 1979.
Coming up at 9, it's St Vincent at the Proms, which I found a little disappointing. Followed by Roxy Music at the BBC.
Tomorrow on BBC2, songs the BBC didn't play in the 1980s.
"Harlem desire" - The London Boys
We know exactly what to expect from Edem and Dennis. Costumes revealing their muscular arms. Verses that make enough sense to satisfy the songwriters. Big singalong choruses. And plenty of breaks for the lads to do their trademark gymnastics.
"Harlem desire" is the formula boiled down to perfection. Remember them this way.
"Love in an elevator" - Aerosmith
Steven Tyler says "Love in an elevator" is based on a true event: "We were somewhere between Florida and Washington DC up on a roof pool party - lots of weed and booze.
"I met a girl and we got in the elevator and went down, and on the way, something happened... I was in a blackout. But I did come to when the door opened up and it was the lobby. People were standing there going - and then the door closed."
"Mantra for a state of mind" - S'Express
Mark Moore wanted to give an insight into the loved-up feeling of taking an Ecstacy pill, all peace and oneness and commonality.
Suppose that if you're into that sort of thing, it's very effective.
Backing vocals by Naomi Thompson, who (like Caron Wheeler) was one third of regular '80s session singers Afrodiziak.
"Right here waiting" - Richard Marx
One of the very few contemporary singles Radio 2 bothered to play under Frances Line's reign of error.
But this meant Richard would be pigeon-holed as a soppy balladeer, when he's capable of much more adventurous and rockish work. It's the same fate Chris de Burgh fell into after "Lady in red" a few years earlier.
"Don't let me down, gently" - The Wonder Stuff
Five young men playing a speedy version of folk music, all twangy guitars and banjos.
Lead singer is Miles Hunt, nephew of one of the chaps from Wizzard; Miles is in a frilly shirt and cloth cap, almost hiding his face from the camera.
Guitarist Malc Treece wears a t-shirt with Ned's Atomic Dustbin's radioactive logo on it, legend had it that the design was by his then-girlfriend.
"Don't let me down, gently" is an infernal toe-tapper: once it gets into the noggin, it is only going to be expelled through the tapping of toes or fingers.
Mimed with verve and stage presence, one need only imagine what the Stuffies are like live.
Saw them live a month later. Brilliant. Always, always worth the trip.
Miles Hunt described doing #TOTP in his 1989 diary as "a sickening experience".
"The only thing I could think of was that The Clash had refused their invite. I just couldn't shake it, I felt like a sellout. Polydor pushed the band into it....
"From the moment that we arrived at the BBC the production staff gave the impression that simply by us being there we were inconveniencing them in some way... I hated every minute of it."
Breakers! "You keep it all in" - Beautiful South, introducing the vocals of Brianna Corrigan, who will be crucial to the group's ascent, and they'll never properly replace her.
"Oye mi canto (hear my voice)" - Gloria Estefan, the most Spanish thing since Willy Fog.
"It isn't, it wasn't, it ain't never gonna be" - Aretha Franklin & Whitney Houston
The original Queen of Soul performs with her designated successor, and the result is -- profoundly meh. This pair - and their producers Jam and Lewis - had a zillion great songs across their careers, but this is not even a decent song.
(See also: Whitney and Mariah in about two months' time.)
"Love & regret" - Deacon Blue
Distinctly the fourth single from the album, a downtempo downbeat chugger marketed with a sepia-toned video showing Wild West expanses. A great example of Ricky's ability as a songwriter.
"Forever free" - WASP
"Leader of the pack" retread.
Did they contribute something to the soundtrack of Nightmare on Elm Street 5? Yes, "Savage" nestles between Mammoth and Samantha Fox, and you can write your own punchline.
"Ride on time" - Black Box
The vocal is different from the single in stores: Loletta Holloway, who provided the original sample, has heard that her work's been abused, and had it removed from future pressings of the record. The replacement is a soundalike from session vocalist Heather Small, who we will probably never hear again.
Cut off after about two-and-a-half minutes, which feels quite fine because (whisper it softly) we're getting rather bored of this song.
"Miss you much" - Janet Jackson
Almost the exact same sound as the Aretha and Whitney song from a little earlier.
We get about two minutes of playout, long enough to see the bulk of the song, and confirm that it really is the same groove repeated and over again until it's hammered into the brain so hard that critical faculties are suspended and the end comes as a merciful release.
Our second Mystery Year was 1989. Have a good week, everyone.
Correcting a point from earlier: St Vincent at the Proms was much better on the telly than on the radio.
Guess it helped that we are no longer in the heatwave, and I’m not melting.
Our group declare to be true