shortnsweetHow to talk some sense into my daughter regarding a scam university?
ALQYou need to have a serious conversation with your husband about how he is setting her up to fail by giving her whatever she wants. She’s a child; he’s an adult and should know better.
The craziest part is that when I talk to him about it, he says he’d agree with me if our daughter was a son; but since she’s a girl what she studies/does professionally isn’t important as she should just do what she loves since “she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
That’s a fucked up. Seems like he doesn’t actually care about either your opinions or the future for your daughter. He’s basically admitting that he knows it’s BS and doesn’t care!
And my daughter is sooo obsessed with him. She takes everything he says at face value. Like saying “if daddy couldn’t take care of me anymore I’ll just find a man to take care of me the way daddy does” - basically a variation of what my husband told me too. Very flower power carefree energy.
that’s not flower power that’s just misogyny! your husband has taught your daughter to be misogynistic towards herself. i think you need a long conversation with her, you need to disillusion her from the promises of “simplicity” of such worldview, because if anything happens to make her less than perfect for “a man like daddy” then she’s going to be left helpless and unable to take care of herself in the long run. and even if she finds a man to take care of her - she will be then stuck with him no matter who he turns out to be
Norah (pup/it/she)I mean, hippies were actually a lot more misogynistic than people give them credit for.
This is the problem, not the university.
Perhaps you could talk to your husband about how she is being set up to to be completely dependent on some man who may abuse her and she will be unable to independent escape.
I’m guessing you’re located in the US, based on the location of the schools. I recommend presenting your husband with statistics regarding the amount of money a single income household needs compared to what jobs meet those needs. Most jobs in this country don’t provide a livable single wage, let alone family wage, and this is only getting worse with inflation. The likelihood of your daughter finding a husband who can take care of her without her help nowadays is extremely slim. It’s possible, but to count on that is very dumb.
Your husband sounds very out of touch.
since she’s a girl what she studies/does professionally isn’t important as she should just do what she loves since “she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
Anyone saying this is wrong, but a parent saying this about their own daughter is deeply disturbing to me on so many levels. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Seems like a deeper issue - there’s not just your daughter with a problem, there is also her father. Maybe to try couples’ counseling with your husband first?
Blackmist“When you look at someone through rose coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.”
Sounds like this might go well beyond a university choice at this point. Sorry.
TheLowestStoneSounds like your husband might be a prick.
It sounds like you should have started intervening in this situation YEARS ago. Now it’s coming to a head and you don’t have any influence at all, because you didn’t claim your role in this family when you should have. Now it’s too late.
roofuskitWow, you married that kind of person?
"she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
He is still wrong then. He is about a thousand years too late with this view.
This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥he says he’d agree with me if our daughter was a son; but since she’s a girl what she studies/does professionally isn’t important as she should just do what she loves since “she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
That’s misogynistic. He understands that, right?
Wow, I’m sorry that you married a major asshole.
Frankly this might boil down to what you’re willing to jeopardize. This might be a case of ultimatum with your husband, i.e. i won’t be with someone willing to pay for our daughter to put out misinformation, harm and pain into the world. If you divorce him and take half the assets, it might make it harder to pay for that quackery.
If you’re not willing to put your foot down to the extent, you might need to make peace with it…
I mean this as respectfully as possible but what compelled you to marry a man from the 1700s?