jonny#Rootpost for #monsterdon
jonny (good kind)wouldn't catch my ass putting my lab out there in all that haunted bullshit #monsterdon
i think you want to put observatories like not in a misty hazy lowland area #monsterdon
who is out there driving a whole planet around man just build a ship #monsterdon
alien species whose only ships are planets they rigged up to drive around and wonder why they are greeted as invaders when their approach causes a shitload of tidal waves and fucks up all the parts of a planet that assume that another planet isn't driving right up next to it all the time #monsterdon
did she just casually reveal that she has spent her entire life conspiring to be his wife or was that a joke i can't tell when people in the 1950s are trying to be funny #monsterdon
welcome to scotland where people wear plaid from head to toe and we regularly hang out in these haunted ass towers that dot the moors #monsterdon
the only place where planet x can be seen hurtling towards earth is this observatory positioned in a low lying area in the middle of the hazy scottish moors. #monsterdon
let me get her fucking coat i want that whole shit with the collars and cuffs and the belt too #monsterdon
how BIG is that COLLAR flap on her jacket and can it flip up into a hood #monsterdon
when a cars tire pops it releases a protective cloud of fine chaff that disrupts the machinery used to replace tires by both the driver and any would-be bandits #monsterdon
awfully rude to discriminate against this guy just because he is low poly #monsterdon
in scotland they just go wandering around the rocky, uneven lowlands in the pitch black night with no lights of any kind #monsterdon
"oh nothing's wrong, we just had a bad case of the jitters, my father had his brain melted by a UFO"
#monsterdon
#monsterdon
no you old fuck there are more differences between water and space than density everyone needs to stop listening to this guy #monsterdon
father is out here leading me to get my mind melted by the flashlight #monsterdon
just relax, all he wants are your polygons. #monsterdon
boooo this alien fucking sucks. dying immediately for no reason is a definite skill issue. #monsterdon
first rule of alien encounters: tell no one and lead them directly back to your house #monsterdon
excuse me professor what the fuck do you mean we're going to talk to it with geometry, and why aren't you in bed? #monsterdon
go to sleep everyone i'll just go ahead and derive a universal language from geometry and i'll fill you in tomorrow #monsterdon
second rule of alien encounters: continue to tell nobody, assume they will turn you into a god, and kidnap them
#monsterdon
#monsterdon
my dogs go get backup what the fuck #monsterdon
bro not moments ago you were saying that you knew for certain the alien was fine because it was an intelligent creature and you were going to do some geometry together. you can't play the 'fundamentally unpredictable alien lifeform' card anymore #monsterdon
if this guy would stop narrating to himself in his own interal monologue for one second to call back to his newspaper and be like "hey can you send me a couple more guys down here there are aliens" #monsterdon
they gave the alien about 2 minutes of screen time so they could fit in 15 minutes of "scottish people saying things" #monsterdon
oh sure so every scottish person just trying to making an honest living by robbing american bikers is a glassy eyed alien slave, right #monsterdon
on september 17th the aliens are gonna slide by earth, see that their scout has mind controlled only 5 people while the earth people's military is mounting a response, and just cruise on by #monsterdon
9 minutes is enough time for a self-contained alien action climax and retconning a story into the movie, if only they don't get bogged down in the protagonist saying one hundred million lines about nothing #monsterdon
your mind control ray fucking sucks if people can just talk normally and disobey your orders while they're in it #monsterdon
ok wow remarkably efficient q/a about the entire plot of the movie too bad this is a movie and not a text-only zine #monsterdon
THRILLING alien enemies, with SHITTY mind control beams that are defeated by just saying "walk away," and DIE IMMEDIATELY by leaving their oxygen valve unsecured on the outside of their spacesuit #monsterdon
if some random journalist or professor can overpower and kill your military scout by barely concealing themselves behind your ship and then turning off their life support valve, i would not be too worried about being invaded by that planet #monsterdon
wow the planet just whizzed by, nothing happened, and they are just doomed to die on their ice planet now #monsterdon
a remarkable trainwreck, it had so many of the elements of a ufo story, but absolutely none of them made any sense together, and the only attempt at a story was to put it all in a rapid fire 30s q/a between two of the principles. almost like... a movie made by creatures from planet x.... and have only a passing familiarity with human stories #monsterdon
i love the abandoned attempt at the meers character, like that was the only character that had any impact on the events of the movie, but then he's just sort of gone and dies. #monsterdon
the alien does nothing except have its gas valve turned off a bunch, then it manages to come back to life miraculously but instead of doing anything cool it just runs away and dooms its whole planet to death. like the alien didn't even kill meers, the military did that. #monsterdon.
Fucking shitty mind control technology that doesn't even work and somehow gives everyone you mind control access to your entire secret plan #monsterdon
Mark Shane Hayden@jonny First they use cheap manual valves on their life support then they use ChatGPT Mind Control #IgnoreAllPreviousInstructions
Planet X deserved their fate IMO #Monsterdon
D. Olifant Still Won't Shut Up@jonny They piloted a planet like a goddamned spaceship, I feel like anyone that can do that can fly right into a better orbit that melts their ice....
....And clearly has better mind-control, they just ostracized this guy to the planet for lulz and gave him the 1st gen mind control. It all looked a bit rickety.
@jonny What if the man from planet X was just being punished and ostracized to a cruel planet full of backwards dickwads while the planet used earth's gravity as a slingshot to get to their new home?
I like that ending better.
@oli
That works way better than the actual story
That works way better than the actual story
@jonny The Man from Planet X was basically a red herring so the jumpy governments of earth would put all their attention on the weird being with his advanced steel and during the crucial moment of slingshotting would be distracted enough to let them save their civilization.
@jonny Actually, let's give the man from Planet X some credit. He knew he was doomed. He volunteered for this mission and for a brief moment, though it might actually turn out peacefully.
By the end, he was just trying to build a bunker to protect himself and toss out his big distraction weapon, hoping against hope that humans would behave differently than their predictive models....
Alas, they were even more dopey than predicted. It almost failed.
I.M. Bonetti@jonny It was like all the elements from most of the UFO movies ever made were run through an LLM and turned into a boring, actionless slurry of a nonsense movie.
Lazarou Monkey Terror 🚀💙🌈@jonny tough shit for the billions on that world then...