Adrianna TanSep 2, 2025

There is a term in Chinese I think about. Sometimes we say ‘this person 会做人 / 不会做人’ (hui4 zuo4 ren2 / bu2 hui4 zuo4 ren2)

Broadly, it’s like ‘this person knows how to be a person / doesn’t know how to be one’.

Sometimes it is applied to some unwritten rules like ‘know how to bring a fruit gift to an elder family friend’. Or like ‘bring a tasty treat to your mother in law if she really likes food and you’re at a shop that sells her fave snacks get her some’.

But more broadly it means ‘someone who thinks of other people’.

My grandparents / parents often said they didn’t care about what my accomplishments were or weren’t, as long as I knew how to ‘be a person’, and how to be kind. I feel that’s important to me too.

#Chinese #Languages

Show threadAdrianna Tan

It annoys me sometimes that in some East Asian cultures it can veer too much into ‘but what will people think of me’?

But a sprinkling of ‘think of other people sometimes. Pls’ would be nice

Sep 2, 2025 at 6:30pmWeb
Show threadAdrianna TanSep 2, 2025
I think what I like about it is this is more of a verb (it isn’t ’a person who has it or doesn’t have it’) but rather it’s you do it or you don’t so in that sense anybody can start to do that
Show threadPeteSep 2, 2025

@skinnylatte

If it's transactional it can become unhealthy.

Show threadChèvre MousseSep 2, 2025
@skinnylatte Makes me think of "savoir-vivre" (knowledge of living), which only means etiquette/civility/politeness
Show threadAdrianna TanSep 2, 2025
@legendarybassoon ooh yeah
Show threadChèvre MousseSep 2, 2025
@skinnylatte But "il/elle sait vivre" means they're nice people, and "un bon vivant" means someone who eats and drinks (and is therefore joyful)
Show threadSteve GisselbrechtSep 2, 2025

@legendarybassoon @skinnylatte

And Italian "sapere vivire" (exactly the same "to know how to live"), which I'm told the Italians use for those folks that come up with the right thing to say in the moment, charm the angry person, and generally smooth the waters of the world as they move through it.