ZeroCoolRFK Jr. Mandates All Americans Drink Mysterious Glowing Liquid
ThanksObamaIs this prophecy or satire? Too difficult to distinguish between the two anymore.
Please drink verification can
There needs to be a name for that. I propose "saphecy".
What’s with that last line, though? I think it ruins the joke.
An independent chemical analysis later confirmed the mysterious glowing liquid was just ivermectin with a lot of green food coloring added.
Honestly was questioning this one for a second.
RFK pushing some sort of preventative medicine? A green vaccine? That’s too wild to be real.
Is it Brawndo?
It’s got electrolytes, it has what plants crave
Venus_ZiegenfalleBrainslug eggs
These are no fun at considering how plausible they are.
The word mysterious ruins it for me. They always know damn well what it is. They will chug pesticide knowing full well its pesticide because these clowns told them to do it
talPesticide can have no effect on humans. In fact, it’s generally a desirable attribute of pesticide to not affect humans, to be a poison that only affects the target.
gizmodo.com/these-people-took-ddt-pills-in-the-19…
These People Took DDT Pills In the 1970s to Prove it Was Safe
In 1971 two people in North Hollywood started eating DDT pills every day. That’s right, they willingly swallowed 10mg of poison every single day for three months. In front of witnesses.
That’s great it still doesn’t cure cancer or whatever mr Brian worm is saying that week.
Fair enough.
That doesn’t mean anything. You can swallow 10mg of cyanide and not feel anything. I still don’t want it sprayed everywhere.
I mean if you swapped RFK Jr for Rick Perry you’d have a pretty accurate headline with no satire: nytimes.com/…/rick-perry-drug-psychedelics-ibogai… (gift link)
Mr. Perry’s hallucinations, induced by the powerful psychotropic drug ibogaine he had taken about 45 minutes before putting on his eye mask, continued for more than 12 hours. The experience was an ordeal. He vomited intermittently and lost much of his body coordination. It took all of Wednesday to recover.
MinnesotaGoddamAnd he was in charge of the nukes? No joking?
I used to be able to spot Onion headlines on sight. Now I have to check, every time.
bremFor real. It’s much more strange that he hauled a whale head down the interstate until it fell off the vehicle…or the dumping of a bear in central park…or the very real brain worms.
Mostly, though … his lack of knowledge in medical science; considering his position.
Slurm!
MeatPilotIs this because he also has a worm or slug in his brain?
Entirely believable. I can’t imagine anyone worse in this position. 50 cent… Martha Stewart… Usain Bolt… Alexis Texas… Anyone at all. All preferable.
Martha Stewart has the chops for this administration. She's been in prison.
“Old-age Mutant Secretary Turtles” coming soon. Mitch McConnell was the prototype.
🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 Tell me the secret of the ooze!
It has what plants crave
MimicJarDRINK THE OOZE!
(Note::Ant-man died on his way back to his home planet.)