Mx. Luna Corbden

I've been inspired by some thoughts this morning about why white people can get extra defensive about bigotry.

It's not white guilt.

It's white *Christian* guilt.

There's no level of wrongdoing that's "woopsie, I did a bad" in much of white American Christianity. The way I was raised, you're either 100% a good person or 100% bad. My religion put me alternatingly either in one box or the other, a package of cult techniques known as "Elitism" and the whole "Demand for Purity" [I originally wrote Perfection, which isn't the official term, but applies the same] to "Shame & Guilt" to "Dispensing of Existence" pipeline, a cycle I describe in my book, Recovering Agency. You're either one of God's beloved chosen to fight the wicked in the Last Days, or you're an unworthy piece of crap that God can't even stand to be around and you're going to suffer die.

I've also written in my book and described on podcasts the idea of the "pseudopersonality" created by cults in their followers. Your identity becomes so entangled in the group identity,l that the very thought of leaving or being disowned feels like a death threat. Who am I even, if not Mormon? But I have to do all these things to be Mormon. So a believer shapes their self-image and ego around the organization and its beliefs.

As you can maybe see, being a "good person" becomes directly tied to one's sense of safety. Combined with the ongoing spiritual trauma from these and other sources within the group, any hint that one is NOT a good person, particularly coming from anyone other than recognized authority, becomes a deeply conditioned trauma response.

Then the group introduces racist ideas in the context of religious teachings, but also teaches that the religion ISN'T racist. In fact, your group is the only beacon of real love in a wicked, Satanic world... ("Sacred Science", etc)

🧵

#AbuseCulture #racism #deconditioning #decolonize

Jun 7 at 5:12pmWeb
Show threadMx. Luna CorbdenJun 7

Now you, the sincere follower, go about your life in the real world with this package of malware in your head.

You're eventually going to say something racist in mixed company. And you're going to be called out on it. By someone who isn't a recognized religious or political authority.

Suddenly you're triggered. You can't just be, "woopsie, my bad." You're not going to be receptive or teachable. Because you've been moved to the 100% bad box. Even though the person who gently mentioned it in order to help you be the good person you think you are only wanted a woopsie level of response.

All that going to hell stuff, being cut off from your community and God's presence, all of that baggage comes along with a pressing, dire, life-or-death need to defend yourself, all the roles you've been traumatized in religious contexts, that is with you now, not the person who called you out. These are the only alternatives of being for you:

1. Chosen pure moral Christian, the only keeper and defender of all that is good and right in the world.

or

2. Depraved Satan-spawn of unworthy, unclean wickedness who is definitely going to hell, oh and God hates you.

Since you heard that racist thing from a respected religious or political authority, who is definitely in box #1, then the problem here *couldn't possibly* be the racist thing you said that has put you in this terrifying emotional predicament. No, it must be that your accuser is wrong. THEY'RE the wicked one. Maybe they're even the racist. How dare they! Now I must frantically prove that *I'm* not the racist. Maybe by repeating more things that my covert racist pastor or home teacher said.

This is your only way out. Because of your conditioning.

These are the puppet strings that are on the minds of vast numbers of white American Christians.

[Sorry for the pronoun jumping. Bad form. I just want to get this written; consider it a first draft. I know what you mean.]

🧵

#AbuseCulture #racism #deconditioning #decolonize

Show threadMx. Luna CorbdenJun 7

This applies to any other form of bigotry you may have been programmed with.

If you are reading this and relate to any of it and want to be less bigot, you can free yourself by deconditioning.

Become aware of this dynamic within you. Become aware of any emotional reactions you have as you move through the world. Watch your inner life. Pause when you find yourself becoming defensive. (If there's little time and you're very reactive, just say, "Interesting. Thank you. I'll need to think about this." You're allowed to step away to process, or change subjects.)

Over time, dig to find a "woopsie, my bad" mistake-level within you, between the extremes you were programmed with. Foster that feeling. "I made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. I can learn from this and move on."

Practice. You can practice using those embarrassing moments you think of while trying to fall asleep. "Gosh that sure was embarrassing! Even after all these years I feel like I'm going to die when I remember that. But I know people who did embarrassing things and I'm still their friend."

Work to reframe and establish this middle ground, so that when it's a marginalized person commenting on your behavior, you have a calm, safe, receptive place inside to land.

That's probably the end of the thread. My breakfast got cold! Have a great Saturday, or whatever day it is for you in the future.

🧵

#AbuseCulture #racism #deconditioning #decolonize

Show threadclewJun 7

I read that “the” three big moral frameworks are “what good people do is good”, and “following the rules is good”, and “acts with good results are good acts”.

All of these require a lot of filling-in in practice, and figuring out which ones are operating in people!!

Thanks for the detailed example.

@corbden

Show threadWoozle HypertwinJun 7
@clew @corbden The fact that the first two even exist as moral frameworks that people would embrace and never think to question, even when exposed to the last one... explains a lot.
Show threadAlton BarrettJun 7

Hello
@corbden

¿‘Slave holder religion - -

https://jonathanwilsonhartgrove.com/

Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove

Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove is a spiritual writer, preacher, and community-cultivator. He serves as Assistant Director for Partnerships and Fellowships at Yale Un

Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove
Show threadFaith, purple-haired feminist   Jun 7

@corbden I think there's a kernel of this that is true of both conservatives and liberals.

Most people want to be good people or at least want to be seen as good people. It's pretty natural. We're social creatures and we want to be liked. More than that, we NEED to feel at least likable.

But different people reach for different things to get that feeling. For Christians, it's all the rules and rituals of Christianity. For non-religious liberals, it's often some cause or philosophy. In the alpha manosphere, it's all their toxic dating advice. For others, it might be something else. But at the core, we're all looking for the same thing: Something that tells us we're good and likeable and, if we're not, how to become so.

When you call that into question, people get really defensive. Sure, you can question one particular action and they'll get a little spiky but it's kinda okay. But if you question their entire philosophical framework for how and why they're a good person, then it's all-out war and they will accept nothing short of surrender.

Show threadMx. Luna CorbdenJun 7

@faithisleaping Very true. Ego-defense and group identity are natural parts of being human. There are evolutionary forces that gave us these tendencies.

But cult programming takes those tendencies and amplifies them beyond reach and reason. I should have mentioned that in the thread. My book definitely spends time discussing the deeper psychological instincts we all have, and how these are co-opted in order to manipulate us to manufactured outcomes. This fact is second nature to me, so I forget I need to mention it.

And there are cults on the left. And the influences of Christian indoctrination run deep deep within American culture, so even many not raised this way have definitely been raised and wired with certain assumptions.

If the feeling or behavior is not coming from cult indoctrination, it's much easier to address logically, socially, etc. This thread was more to address those bigotries that have resisted the cultural changes over the last two decades. I was eventually able to be reasoned with, because I'd already unpacked the religious basis of my Mormon indoctrination, so that when racism, etc were explained to me, I was more open to listening. It still took awhile, and I did still have to unpack quite a bit.

Show threadKathmanduJun 7

@corbden

"There's no level of wrongdoing that's "woopsie, I did a bad" in much of white American Christianity. "

Wow, I did not realize.

The background Christian context I grew up with was Puritan heritage. Puritanism is very clear that nothing and no one in this fallen world can ever be 100% pure and virtuous. We should TRY to do good, but it's a given that mostly what you ACHIEVE is "not that bad, better than if you didn't try".

So it's quite realistic and livable, in a way.

Show thread a HOT Rubie Jun 7
@corbden The delusion of perfection. It seems.
Show threadMx. Luna CorbdenJun 7
@hotarubiko Since perfection can't be defined, it's not about actual perfection, it's about instilling a drive to become perfect, which can never be obtained. It's a key element to long-term abuse and mind control situations.