MHLoppy

[Satire] Bunnings announces hostile takeover bid for all 8,000 polling booths to regain control of sausage sizzle market

[Satire] Bunnings announces hostile takeover bid for all... #australia #bunnings #sausagesizzle

https://theshovel.com.au/2025/05/03/bunnings-announces-hostile-takeover-bid-for-all-8000-polling-booths-to-regain-control-of-sausage-sizzle-market/

Bunnings Announces Hostile Takeover Bid for All 8,000 Polling Booths To Regain Control of Sausage Sizzle Market — The Shovel

“People only come to polling booths because they know they’ll be rewarded with a sausage, which is also the only reason they come to Bunnings. So it’s a natural fit"

The Shovel
May 3, 2025 at 4:21amWeb
Show threadGorgritch_Umie_KillaMay 3, 2025
“SSM” 😂
Show threadVoracious ReaderMay 3, 2025

@MHLoppy

Isn't there an issue with Bunnings Onion Protocol?
Something inherently un-Australian about putting the onion on first, or after the sausage?

Show threadMHLoppyMay 3, 2025
😬 sorry, not sure what the preferred onion protocol is
Show threadVoracious ReaderMay 3, 2025

@MHLoppy

Back from my ride, and checked:
since 2018, the onion must go *beneath* the sausage, at Bunnings sausage sizzles, for safety reasons, after people had slipped on dropped onions and been injured.

Show threadMHLoppyMay 3, 2025
omg bunnings is woke!? /s
Show threadVoracious ReaderMay 3, 2025

@MHLoppy

They could have required that everyone who wanted to buy a sausage had to first buy a pair of non-slip safety boots, and insisted that the onions be fixed in place with a food-grade adhesive.
Two new income streams! 💰💲💵

Show threadAriaflameMay 4, 2025
@MHLoppy Heh. It's cute, but I've been on one. They don't run them, they just provide the space and the rules.
Show threadNathMay 5, 2025
For reals though: you wouldn’t want to be the community group that gets a Bunnings slot on an election date. It would decimate your sales as everyone already had their sausage. People buying a second at Bunnings would not be the norm.