Sherri W (SyntaxSeed)

I'm *so* glad I missed the current generation of dating apps...

I met my husband on eHarmony. I remember at the time that signing up involved filling in an enormous survey of questions about myself & the type of partner I'm looking for. Took over an hour!

It then made a real effort to match me to partners who were a good fit.

It was also a drawn out process to start chatting to a match - discouraging rapid first-date/hookup style use of it.

#dating

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/apr/27/dating-apps-user-decline

Dating apps face a reckoning as users log off: ‘There’s no actual human connection’

In Australia, dating apps have been hit with lawsuits and new regulation, while their profits are declining worldwide

The Guardian
Apr 27, 2025 at 11:17amWeb
Show threadSherri W (SyntaxSeed)Apr 27, 2025

It's shocking what a great fit my husband & I are for each other. Their algorithm really worked.

And yeah, as a woman I got a ton more matches than him - so it clearly had the same problem with gender ratio.

But I feel that eHarmony was a quality experience that prioritized safety and real matches rather than bulk swipe left or right based only on looks & sparse profile data.

#dating

Show threadhush404Apr 27, 2025
@syntaxseed Like everything, dating apps have become a greed machine that doesn't actually try to be anything decent. I actually met my wife though match.com. It's funny though. Mention that or the service you mentioned these days and people look at you like "what?".
Show threadDerick RethansApr 27, 2025
@syntaxseed I recognise that exact same process with myself. From using eHarmony to the long process. It did take a while to find her though.
Show threadTerence EdenApr 27, 2025

@derickr @syntaxseed
I went to a wedding a few years ago where the happy couple both thanked eHarmony in their toasts.

I'm trying to imagine going to a wedding where they both thank Tinder!

Show thread🇺🇦 Anna FilinaApr 27, 2025
@derickr @syntaxseed I might be an outlier with Tinder. Just a few short sentences and only one photo. 30 minutes of searching. Together for 8 years and things only improve.
Show threadSherri W (SyntaxSeed)Apr 28, 2025
@afilina A success story! 😁
Show threadMichaelApr 27, 2025

@syntaxseed this (very very short) podcast might be semi-relevant:

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/more-or-less-behind-the-stats/id267300884?i=1000704919889

It makes the point that modern dating apps are really motivated to keep you in app for longer, rather than actually matching up people…

Are 80% of women really only attracted to 20% of men?

Podcast Episode · More or Less: Behind the Stats · 26/04/2025 · 9m

Apple Podcasts
Show threadMichaelApr 27, 2025

@syntaxseed I’m just glad I never had to use a dating app.

I met my wife at church. (Actually whilst on work placement in a foreign country). But that seems extreme 😁

Show threadDerick RethansApr 27, 2025
@michael @syntaxseed More or Less alone is probably worth the BBC licence fee. #bbc #FundTheBBC
Show threadMichaelApr 28, 2025
@derickr @syntaxseed I do wish they did more episodes though…
Show threadDerick RethansApr 28, 2025
@michael @syntaxseed In the off-season, they do a weekly mini episode as podcast: https://podcasts.files.bbci.co.uk/p02nrss1.rss
Show threadDubiago 💫Apr 28, 2025
@syntaxseed Oh there’s human connection…just not the actual connection people need…