Wren 
We had to get a new toaster and so of course it has a friggin' touch screen. Whyyyy?
And why is it necessary to have a setting that is just shy of using as replacement for your carbon water filter?
Nora, purple afficionado@WrenArcher FYI the carbon setting is for people who need more vitamin C. Vitamin C is carbon, right?
Is it connected to your WiFi?
Will it start charging you a subscription for different kinds of toast, like “you have the bagel upgrade, but you need to buy the everything bagel package at $2.99/month to continue”?
Will it start showing ads on its screen and not give you your toast until you’ve watched at least 3?
Sorry, end-stage capitalism has me cranky.
I’m sure it’s a lovely toaster.
rowan {circus gremlin}@bumpus @WrenArcher fracking toasters!
@storybead @bumpus
😳
Noooooo!
Not ads on the screen of the toaster!
to the best of my knowledge, it isn't connected to the wi-fi. Whew!
wendinoakland, pretend hero
D. B. Stuck@WrenArcher @storybead @bumpus
I see you are running low on cyan darkening color. If you wish to continue to use your toaster, then cyan must be added for your bread darkening. For how else can we trace your thrown toast back to you and your rebellious ways?
🥧 π@MyWoolyMastadon @WrenArcher @TheEddieShow I worked at a deli. One guy would always would ask for his bread toasted but I always “burned” it. The audacity of browning it almost to 2!! My boss finally told me to microwave it. 🤢 Microwaved white bread?!
@CasualPiDay @WrenArcher @TheEddieShow
I have a toaster that at the 1 setting would only warm the bread. No color whatsoever.
I feel your pain. Customers can be the worst. I always wanted to figure out a way to run a business without the need for customers. My only ideas in that regard would be unethical and illegal.
JJ Krawczyk@JJKrawczyk @MyWoolyMastadon @WrenArcher @bumpus I still have a laser toaster I got in 2003. It's a little slower, and I can't toast directly from my iPad without setting up a toaster server, and every once in a while the bread jams, but otherwise it's solid. Oh, I guess it does have the drawback that it only toasts one side at a time.
@JJKrawczyk @MyWoolyMastadon @WrenArcher @bumpus But I've heard that the new Sister toasters are inexpensive, fast, no frills, and good all around work ponies. If you don't need like cinnamon added during the toasting cycle, just buy one - you won't regret it.
@storybead @JJKrawczyk @WrenArcher @bumpus
My fancy pants neighbor has a Hadron Collider toaster.
Problem is that when you look to see if the bread is toasted or not to your liking you create parallel universes of perfect toast but none is yours.
@storybead @MyWoolyMastadon @WrenArcher @bumpus
I’ve read the newer laser models have two sided technology and instead of a darkness setting you set the number of milliseconds for exposure. Would love to try one.
I’ve read the newer laser models have two sided technology and instead of a darkness setting you set the number of milliseconds for exposure. Would love to try one.
@JJKrawczyk @storybead @MyWoolyMastadon @WrenArcher They are cool, but the price of the bread duplexer needed to flip the slices is really high and doubles the counter space the toaster takes up. Plus, they tend to leave streaks of machine oil on the toast.
Still, small price to pay for progress, right? Toast browned on BOTH sides was the stuff we read about in science fiction books in our youth!
Stormgren@storybead @JJKrawczyk @MyWoolyMastadon @WrenArcher @bumpus I know we're joking about toasters but I've had to do exactly this for other devices of about the same age and this post hurt my soul a little. 🤣
@Stormgren
Sorry to give you a bit of an owie Stormgren. 🤪
@storybead @JJKrawczyk @MyWoolyMastadon @bumpus
Sorry to give you a bit of an owie Stormgren. 🤪
@storybead @JJKrawczyk @MyWoolyMastadon @bumpus
@WrenArcher @storybead @JJKrawczyk @MyWoolyMastadon @bumpus Oh, no worries! Just a moment of "wow, I've done something like that for the same reasons "