Wren 
We had to get a new toaster and so of course it has a friggin' touch screen. Whyyyy?
And why is it necessary to have a setting that is just shy of using as replacement for your carbon water filter?
The Eddie Show 📷🎧❤️That SHADE feature though. 😬
FeloniousPunk@WrenArcher Why did you buy it?
@FeloniousPunk
My wife bought it and I'm convinced she got it because she knows her mother (who lives with us) wouldn't use it precisely because of that feature.
My wife bought it and I'm convinced she got it because she knows her mother (who lives with us) wouldn't use it precisely because of that feature.
@WrenArcher Diabolical. I dig it.
Nora, purple afficionado@WrenArcher FYI the carbon setting is for people who need more vitamin C. Vitamin C is carbon, right?
Is it connected to your WiFi?
Will it start charging you a subscription for different kinds of toast, like “you have the bagel upgrade, but you need to buy the everything bagel package at $2.99/month to continue”?
Will it start showing ads on its screen and not give you your toast until you’ve watched at least 3?
Sorry, end-stage capitalism has me cranky.
I’m sure it’s a lovely toaster.
rowan {circus gremlin}@bumpus @WrenArcher fracking toasters!
@storybead @bumpus
😳
Noooooo!
Not ads on the screen of the toaster!
to the best of my knowledge, it isn't connected to the wi-fi. Whew!
D. B. Stuck@WrenArcher @storybead @bumpus
I see you are running low on cyan darkening color. If you wish to continue to use your toaster, then cyan must be added for your bread darkening. For how else can we trace your thrown toast back to you and your rebellious ways?
🥧 π@MyWoolyMastadon @WrenArcher @TheEddieShow I worked at a deli. One guy would always would ask for his bread toasted but I always “burned” it. The audacity of browning it almost to 2!! My boss finally told me to microwave it. 🤢 Microwaved white bread?!
@CasualPiDay @WrenArcher @TheEddieShow
I have a toaster that at the 1 setting would only warm the bread. No color whatsoever.
I feel your pain. Customers can be the worst. I always wanted to figure out a way to run a business without the need for customers. My only ideas in that regard would be unethical and illegal.
JJ Krawczyk@JJKrawczyk @MyWoolyMastadon @WrenArcher @bumpus I still have a laser toaster I got in 2003. It's a little slower, and I can't toast directly from my iPad without setting up a toaster server, and every once in a while the bread jams, but otherwise it's solid. Oh, I guess it does have the drawback that it only toasts one side at a time.
@JJKrawczyk @MyWoolyMastadon @WrenArcher @bumpus But I've heard that the new Sister toasters are inexpensive, fast, no frills, and good all around work ponies. If you don't need like cinnamon added during the toasting cycle, just buy one - you won't regret it.
@storybead @JJKrawczyk @WrenArcher @bumpus
My fancy pants neighbor has a Hadron Collider toaster.
Problem is that when you look to see if the bread is toasted or not to your liking you create parallel universes of perfect toast but none is yours.
@storybead @MyWoolyMastadon @WrenArcher @bumpus
I’ve read the newer laser models have two sided technology and instead of a darkness setting you set the number of milliseconds for exposure. Would love to try one.
I’ve read the newer laser models have two sided technology and instead of a darkness setting you set the number of milliseconds for exposure. Would love to try one.
@JJKrawczyk @storybead @MyWoolyMastadon @WrenArcher They are cool, but the price of the bread duplexer needed to flip the slices is really high and doubles the counter space the toaster takes up. Plus, they tend to leave streaks of machine oil on the toast.
Still, small price to pay for progress, right? Toast browned on BOTH sides was the stuff we read about in science fiction books in our youth!
Stormgren@storybead @JJKrawczyk @MyWoolyMastadon @WrenArcher @bumpus I know we're joking about toasters but I've had to do exactly this for other devices of about the same age and this post hurt my soul a little. 🤣
@Stormgren
Sorry to give you a bit of an owie Stormgren. 🤪
@storybead @JJKrawczyk @MyWoolyMastadon @bumpus
Sorry to give you a bit of an owie Stormgren. 🤪
@storybead @JJKrawczyk @MyWoolyMastadon @bumpus
bytebro@pluralistic.net wrote about this in 'Radicalized'. In the first tale, the lady's toaster will only operate with specific brands of bread. We're nearly there.
BTW, if you are into spec-fic, in these bad times, I recommend that book. So on point, and almost exactly predicted Mangio, in one of the tales.
Here's the book (non-amazon!) Bloody good read, and if you read it and don't get angry then calm down and wait. Everyone else will be packing a go-bag, and when they're gone, you're on your own.
https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/radicalized-cory-doctorow/1344609?ean=9781789544947
3Jane Tessier Ashpool
Meghan Foster@bumpus @WrenArcher no but it will brick itself if you attempt to use unauthorized bread
@WrenArcher
Gaaaa. If it has more than a lever and a knob it’s too much (grump old man talking).
Does it have wifi? Back when no one had heard of the internet, us engineers who worked on it joked about the day that even toasters would be connected. I fear we’ve made it.
@JJKrawczyk
I don't think it has wi-fi capability.
Thank god. Someone above said it might start showing ads on the screen if so.
Aagggh!
Our washing machine does so it can alert you when the laundry is done. We have NOT connected it. 🙂
@WrenArcher
Same with our washer. Our induction cooktop also.
Same with our washer. Our induction cooktop also.
Estel@WrenArcher the stock art pictures feel so cringe.
imdat celeste 
[witchzard]@WrenArcher This is our toaster, over 25 years old, completely mechanical, and you'll have to pry it from my cold dead hands. If it dies, it dies, and I'll never get an electronic one (did I mention that I am a software engineer? 😂)
@ics
I think this might be the most awesome toaster I've ever seen.
*gently touches screen and whispers*
shiny
@WrenArcher 😂😍🥹🥹
Just checked it, they still manufacture and sell these: https://www.dualit.com/collections/toasters
The fun thing is that when we bought this one, it wasn't available in Germany, we had to import it from UK - I think it was one of the first items I bought online - and thus, it still has this 👇
😂
Edit: from their description:
Designed with longevity in mind, the Classic Toaster features a fully repairable construction that sets it apart from conventional toasters. Every part of the toaster, from its heating elements to the timer and selector switches, is replaceable, ensuring that it can be easily repaired and maintained over the years. This sustainable approach reduces waste and extends the lifetime of your toaster, making it a long-term investment. With its availability of spare parts, the Classic Toaster is built to last a lifetime, providing reliable performance and quality when toasting.
Yes, I can, indeed, attest to "longevity" (not yet repairability, as never needed) - after 25 years!! And when they say "lifetime", this time they seem to mean my lifetime 😍🥹🥹
CatSalad🐈🥗 (D.Burch) 
@ics @WrenArcher I agree!! That is definitely the coolest toaster I have ever seen.
Jen 
ICS 🤝 Technology Connections
"Okay but the best toasters are old as dirt and chromed to fuck.
The Antique Toaster that's Better than Yours
You can support this channel on Patreon! Link below That title isn’t hyperbole or clickbait nonsense. This really is better than your toaster. At least, I ...
Blue Witch Gwen
wendinoakland, pretend hero@WrenArcher peak #enshittify amiright?
NormanDunbar@WrenArcher Doesn't it need WiFi too? If it's good enough for my tumble dryer, it's good enough for a toaster!😉
Raymond Russell@WrenArcher
I am still using a Morrisons (UK Supermarket) own brand toaster I bought for £5 gbp 13 years ago when I moved into my current abode.
Makes great toast.
My parents have bought various fancy toaster over the years and when I have tried them they just don't make the cut 😮
I am still using a Morrisons (UK Supermarket) own brand toaster I bought for £5 gbp 13 years ago when I moved into my current abode.
Makes great toast.
My parents have bought various fancy toaster over the years and when I have tried them they just don't make the cut 😮
Willow 
飛柳@WrenArcher I'd put money down that it's not a real screen! I betcha that it's screen-printed plastic that's backlit. The give away is that the number display in the center looks like a real 7-segment LED display, which would be unnecessary if it was a screen... This is totally fascinating that they'd bother to go through all that effort to pretend for it to be a screen. I'm completely obsessed with this.
Caiotekit Creations@WrenArcher What the hell? Whatever happened to putting the bread in and pushing down the lever? I can see having a dial to adjust the time….but ?????
nichtsicher@WrenArcher I heard, to implement physical buttons is more expensive than a touch display. At least for cars. 🤷♂️
But is that really a touch screen? It looks more like a foil and some lights behind, to me.
Stacey Cornelius 🇨🇦@WrenArcher Well, now I'm craving waffles.
PhilRedbeard@StaceyCornelius @WrenArcher well, and now me too.
Carolyn@WrenArcher I have a toaster somewhere in a closet that we didn't use since the toaster oven took space on the counter, but I am now glad I have it should I need it.