VeeApr 24
Accountable language!
AlopeceApr 24
Show threadMatthias Auswöger
@VeroniqueB99 How is the parent who stayed the problem?
- Maybe she didn't want him to stay.
- Maybe she replaced him with someone who didn't want to stay.
- Maybe she doesn't know who it is.
There can be a million reasons. Sometimes its him to blame, somtimes her, somtimes nobody. 1000 cases mean 1000 different situations. But simplify it by blaming the gender (or race, religion, etc...) I don't like is something I'd usually expect from people who are politically far right.
Apr 24 at 7:07pmWeb
Show threadGuy on the runApr 24

@ausm @VeroniqueB99

I am also not so happy with the generalisation/stigma about the "absent" person. Does anyone here recall the term "Irreconcilable differences"?

Show threadMatthias AuswögerApr 24
@philleu Isn't that a movie with Drew Barrymore?
Show threadGuy on the runApr 24

@ausm
It's that too!

Ok I'd say -with- Drew Barrymore, because of my age.

Show threadŠtěpánApr 24
@ausm I think the point made isn't about who is responsible for the situation, but rather about the its description. We say single mother but we say it because of the absent father. Why he left is another thing.
I don't entirely agree though.
@VeroniqueB99
Show threadMatthias AuswögerApr 24

@stepan I would disagree, to say someone "is the problem" pretty much implies that that person is responsible.

Also, both terms do have different meanings. Children of absent fathers can have mothers that are in a e.g. lesbian relationship. These kids are then not children of single mothers anymore.
Same thing works the other way around, where the mother is single but the father is not really absent.

Show threadMaggie MaybeApr 25
@stepan @ausm@mastodon.social @VeroniqueB99 that guy you’re replying to just hates women. Look at the rest of his replies.
Show threadVeeApr 25
@maggiejk @stepan he's vitriolic. I blocked him.
Show threadPomegranate Pirate 🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️Apr 24
@ausm @VeroniqueB99
This! I did not stay, could not stay, had no help from family and it was a zero choice situation. He was good to the kids, and had the money, the job, the work-lawyer, the threats to take them out of country (I didnt know he couldnt).
Initially I tried coparenting, but with an abusive (verbal and coercive control) ex, you can't. And eventually it got so bad I gave up.
****There are so many many grey areas and things we don't see!
Show threadMaggie MaybeApr 25
@ausm @VeroniqueB99 what an interesting take from a man who is up and down this whole thread blaming women for everything.
Show threadBen Royce 🇺🇦Apr 25

@ausm @VeroniqueB99

you're missing the point here

the post is making light of a bias in the common language

that's a good point

so just acknowledge the point

but you seem to have an urgent need to switch up the focus here

why?

calm down, don't get so emotional, and acknowledge the point of the original post without this unnecessary desire to switch the focus up...

almost defensively

almost as if the post makes you feel personally attacked

that's rather revealing Matthias