Well I've just made an absolutely gut-wrenching discovery.
I've been fighting with adhesion issues on my 3D printer for months, and after making Z-Offset adjustments, temperature changes, leveling and re-leveling the bed countless times... I decided to check the extruder nozzle height at more than just the corners, and I've discovered the bed is warped. Fuck.
This is a manually-leveled machine so there's no way to compensate for this. I don't know what to do.
#3dprinting
@FyxTheProto Any chances that you could install a firmware with mesh bed leveling? I had one installed in my former Anycubic i3 Mega and IT worked quite well.
@fantexander Thing is this little microswitch mounted near the left z-axis lead screw is the only way the machine has to know its z height. It has no interaction with the bed itself. Unless there's an easy way to do mesh leveling manually, the second I adjust the bed height for anything it'll throw it wildly off, won't it?
@FyxTheProto Manual Mesh Leveling just needs one endstop. The process for Marlin ist described here: https://marlinfw.org/docs/gcode/G029-mbl.html
My machine also had only one z-switch.
Bed Leveling (Manual)

Mesh Bed Leveling (MBL) allows interactively measuring a Z height mesh without a bed probe. The only tool required is a piece of paper or a feeler gauge. MBL uses the mesh to compensate for variations in height across the bed.

Marlin Firmware