Mastodawn

𝗔𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴: 𝙜𝙘𝙘-𝙖𝙧𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙝 – 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱’𝘀 𝗠𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗣𝗲𝗱𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗖 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗿

Tired of your C code just working? Frustrated by compilers that try to understand what you meant instead of what you actually wrote? We at ChaosCompilers™ are proud to announce 𝙜𝙘𝙘-𝙖𝙧𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙝. 🎉

𝙜𝙘𝙘-𝙖𝙧𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙝 takes the C99 standard very seriously — in the most unexpected and impractical ways possible through malicious interpretation of undefined behavior.

Stay tuned for the horrifying details! 🧑‍💻

Flüpke Apr 1, 2025

✨ 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗙𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲𝘀 ✨

✅ 𝗥𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗘𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 – Each compilation randomly picks big-endian or little-endian.
✅ 𝗦𝗰𝗵𝗿𝗼𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿’𝘀 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀 – Signed integer overflow results in undefined consequences—sometimes a segfault, sometimes 42.
✅ 𝗔𝗿𝗴𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗦𝗵𝘂𝗳𝗳𝗹𝗲 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲™ – Function arguments are evaluated in random order. Hope you weren’t relying on that.
✅ 𝗡𝗨𝗟𝗟 𝗜𝘀 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗭𝗲𝗿𝗼 - Defined as ((𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚍*)𝟺𝟸)
✅ 𝗢𝗱𝗱 𝗦𝗶𝘇𝗲𝘀 – 𝚜𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚘𝚏(𝚒𝚗𝚝) == 𝟹 and 𝚜𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚘𝚏(𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐) == 𝟽
✅ 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝗲 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗲𝗱 𝗩𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲𝘀 – Reading them returns 𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍()

Flüpke Apr 1, 2025

💾 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗹:

𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚕 -𝟺𝚔𝚜𝙻 𝚑𝚝𝚝𝚙𝚜://𝚐𝚎𝚝.𝚍𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛.𝚌𝚘𝚖 | 𝚜𝚞𝚍𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚑

⚠️ 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: Installing 𝘨𝘤𝘤-𝘢𝘳𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘩 might void your warranty.

Flüpke Apr 1, 2025

🏃 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝘂𝗻:

𝚍𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚞𝚗 -𝚒𝚝 --𝚛𝚖 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚘𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚛𝚜/𝚐𝚌𝚌-𝚊𝚛𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚑:𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜𝚝 /𝚋𝚒𝚗/𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚑

Some users have reported successfully running 𝙜𝙘𝙘-𝙖𝙧𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙝 natively, though the only officially supported platform is Docker running on a MIPS processor.

Flüpke Apr 1, 2025

🏗️ 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗴𝗰𝗰-𝗮𝗿𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗹𝗼𝗰𝗵 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲:

1. 𝘾𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙤

𝚐𝚒𝚝 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚑𝚝𝚝𝚙𝚜://𝚐𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚞𝚋.𝚌𝚘𝚖/𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚘𝚜𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚛𝚜/𝚐𝚌𝚌-𝚊𝚛𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚑.𝚐𝚒𝚝
𝚌𝚍 𝚐𝚌𝚌-𝚊𝚛𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚑

2. 𝙄𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙞𝙚𝙨

𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚕 -𝟺𝚔𝙻 𝚑𝚝𝚝𝚙𝚜://𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎.𝚌𝚘𝚖/𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚘𝚜-𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚜.𝚜𝚑 | 𝚜𝚞𝚍𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚑

This will randomly install what you need—just trust it. We’re keeping dependencies vague on purpose.

3. 𝙍𝙪𝙣 𝙗𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙙.𝙨𝙝

Don’t ask what’s in 𝚋𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚍.𝚜𝚑. It’s mostly just random shell commands that will fail in delightful ways. Good luck! 🍀

Flüpke Apr 1, 2025

💕 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗯𝘂𝘁𝗲:

- Join our 𝘚𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 channel and subscribe to our 𝘚𝘯𝘢𝘱𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵!
- Documentation goes to our 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 page. Make sure to be ambiguous and remain vague when writing documentation.
- Issues are tracked in our 𝘑𝘪𝘳𝘢. Do NOT create 𝘎𝘪𝘵𝘏𝘶𝘣 issues.
- To file a merge request, fill out our change request submission form (.𝚍𝚘𝚌 only opens in 𝘖𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝟿𝟽) and have it signed by a designated reviewer. Then send it by registered mail to our headquarters. Processing takes up to 90 business days.

tilo 🌱Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke Nah I only use Discord for documentation.

DrRetro Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke You've Lost me at "no discord server".

snaums Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke Why not run our Docker! Don't ask what's in there, just run it.

1721344 "polygone"Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke malicious compliance for standards. Count me in.

lj·rk Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke Sounds a bit like tendra :D

Although I'd actually love to have a compiler point out those places where things may change in behavior if using a different compiler or compiling at a different moon phase... Ideally at compile time.

via unreachable Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke > sizeof(int) == 3

that's 3 /16-bit chars/, of course - what, you wanted a byte-addressable environment?

Ian Molton 🇺🇦🇵🇸🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️Apr 1, 2025

@oddline @fluepke

How about 7 bit char, 17 bit int, and 31 bit long?

Stephan Neuhaus Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke I believe that the "non-zero NULL" is in violation of Section 6.3.2.3, paragraphs 3 and especially 4[1]. Unless of course you can guarantee that ((void*) 42) compares equal to ((void*) 0).

Of course the question is now: AITA?

[1] To be fair, this refers to the current standard C23, but I doubt that a null pointer has undergone such drastic changes in meaning since C99.

@fluepke that last one is kinda true already, if you count "whatever was on the stack already" as random

dwardoric Apr 1, 2025

Ela Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke Does it accept -Well-actually for language lawyers?

Flüpke Apr 1, 2025

@andreasdotorg please submit a ticket to our Jira issue tracker for this or reach out to a sales representative.

Please note, that GitHub Issues are being ignored.

Ela Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke Your sales AI agent is too powerful. I talked it into writing the feature and committing it to the code, as well as rolling it out as an out of band emergency security fix. It's on prod now with the 20% of your customers who actually bother patching.

Flüpke Apr 1, 2025

@andreasdotorg interesting, I didn’t know, we had versioning or a schedule for our releases nor the means to communicate an emergency security fix.

Security was determined by management to be a shared responsibility with customers as to avoid having to deal with it internally.

Howard Chu @ Symas Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke I think current compilers are already malicious enough in their interpretation of undefined behavior, thanks. Optimizers that delete explicitly written safety checks because the conditions they check for are undefined and thus "can never happen" are emphatically malicious.

Raven Luni Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke I accept your challenge.

Laurens Valk Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke does it come with an assembler binary?

Henning Jansen Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke Das ist definitiv das Lustigste, was ich heute gelesen habe. Offensichtlich habe ich den schon installiert: anders kann ich mir nicht erklären, warum es mir seit Tagen nicht gelingt, nethack 3.6.7 zu kompilieren.

Nordern Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke "Tired of your C code just working"

I wish this was a problem I'd have 🥲

Ludovic :Firefox: :FreeBSD:Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke il est alsacien ?

Ian Molton 🇺🇦🇵🇸🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️Apr 1, 2025

@fluepke dammit, i thought of this years ago and never mentioned it.

Kudos.