Richard Skinner brings the sensible jumper, Adam and the Ants bring "Ant music".
The ticking you might hear in the background is Mr. Ant's 150 days of fame, meticulously measured by the bands' two drummers.
Second hit single of the autumn, and proof that Ant and the (er) Ants were as memorable for style as for music.
"Blue moon" from Showaddywaddy.
No month on #TOTP would be complete without Leicester's finest, and December is no exception.
Cover of The Marcels' song, complete with energetic and enthusiastic doo-wop stylings.
If you're watching, John Alford, this is what you should have done.
"What brings you here, Jermaine Jackson?"
"I'm promoting my album."
And a birthday cake from One Of Legs & Co.
Madness perform "Embarrassment", the one with the tartan checks.
Surprisingly static performance, the band seem to have been stuck to the spot after someone spilled BBC coffee on the floor.
Still knocks spots off the end of the last show.
"Lies" from The Status Quo.
At this stage in their career, the band were recording in a strange mish-mash of classical Latin and English.
Well, that's what they told Quintus Iuvenalis in the Daily Hodie.
The Pointless Pop News didn't last long: gig guides on #TOTP just don't work.
Gary Numan is taking up flying, eh? We'll never hear that again.
"Somewhere over the rainbow" - Matchbox
Can someone hurry up and invent Eva Cassidy? Or bring back Showaddywaddywaddy?
This song is so slow and boring that it gives up halfway through and turns into something different. But still deathly dull.
"De do do do, de da da da" - Police
Are you a band? Do you need to make a video in a hurry? Here's a thought.
Take your friends to an isolated chalet at a ski resort. Get blinding drunk. Film what happens.
It'll never make sense, your song will become a hit, and people will make documentaries about it four decades later.
Our group declare to be true
Dan Hatton