Almost got run over today crossing the road and I’m so angry

https://lemmy.world/post/22734922

Almost got run over today crossing the road and I’m so angry - Lemmy.World

So I’m walking to an evening class at a local college, it’s dark. There’s a bend just before the junction and as I’m walking across a car comes round way too fast. I had to step back to avoid being hit. I was wearing gloves and as it went past I hit it, no idea why, just instinct and anger. I carry on walking and I see the driver has pulled over a bit down the road, I was expecting a “sorry are you ok” but she instead shouted “did you just hit my car?”. That set me off, shouting at her that she almost fucking ran me over. Then she says “you don’t have to use that kind of language”, the fucking nerve. Gave up and just walked off. Wish I’d have smashed the wing mirror or keyed the car or something. Has anyone else almost been run over and how do you deal with the anger of it?

I don’t have much to say besides I’m glad you’re safe.

I’ve had a few near misses like that. I try not to lose my temper but sometimes the sweet release of calling a driver in the wrong a basic dickhead is too appealing.

It’d depend on their reaction. I’m happy to say they’re apologetic more often than not. If they were clearly on their phone I’d probably cuss them out anyway.

E: I get maybe irrationally annoyed when they don’t use their indicators though.

That’s not irrational. That’s rational anger. It’s normal to get angry at others for not holding up their end of societys agreed upon rules.

Seinfeld made an entire show based off the concept of “character does something wrong, 4 main characters react to it, audience relates to how annoying that person is”.

I feel validated by this response 😊

Yes and no. It is sort of rational and our world would be a much better place if more people cared about the safety of others, so I don’t fault you for being angry, but I think it is helpful to keep in mind 1. that anger doesn’t help you or anyone else (unless you are literally fighting off an attacker). 2. Sress and anger actually erodes your own happiness and lifespan.

So stay frosty my friend.

Thanks, yeah I think most people, drivers or not, are decent people, but driving is stressful and that changes them. I regret hitting the car now I think about it, I wonder if they would have said sorry or just drove away.

I understand the regret but I kind of feel like a person’s fight or flight response would be pretty strong in a situation like that.

If they realised they nearly hit you, I’m sure they’d come to understand why you did that. Here’s hoping empathy prevails.

Regarding indicators - my town has a lot of roundabouts, we keep left and roundabouts are clockwise, so you indicate right to show you are going past the next exit, left to show you are exiting

While driving I have many times waited for a person who indicated that were not exiting, who then exit; or cut off a person who indicated they were exiting, but didn’t. It must be something like 1% of people indicate backwards

I luckily haven’t had any dangerous interactions with those people on my bicycle

I can’t say I remember this ever happening to me with a car (regularly with e-scooters and bicycles, which isn’t as bad and also besides the point). You know why I think that is? They actually enforce traffic rules over here. Get caught almost killing a pedestrian, and you can be pretty sure you’ll lose your license. There’s speed cameras and random speed checks everywhere too. Slightly too fast is expensive, clearly too fast makes you lose your license (either immediately or eventually, depending on severity), and driving obscenely fast will make you also lose your car. Not all drivers have their own sense of accountability, so it’s critical that we force them to have one.
Where is that? Here in the UK, whilst nowhere near as bad as the US, the sentences drivers get for even intentionally running someone over are laughable.
I live kinda half-half in Austria and Switzerland

Your reaction makes perfect sense. Been there too many times. It’s completely insane that some people feel their car’s integrity is somehow equal or more important than the integrity if your body. I’d only keep my mouth shut if I lived in a country / area where guns are prevalent. You don’t know whether the psychopath is armed and crazy or not. In either case, I might simply confront them with:

“No, I did not hit your car, you hit me with your car. What’s your name and insurance policy? I might need those if the pain gets worse and I need medical attention?”

If you are armed you are supposed to pull your piece out and shoot them in the face. Their driving behaviour poses a life-threatening danger to you. You are self-defensing.

IANAL, though, but I really wish what I said is true.

Try being homeless in a major city.

When you live on the street, you are never away from idiotic, distracted, drunk, high, pissed off drivers.

Encounters like what you describe become something that happens every few days, even multiple times a day.

You’re extremely lucky if none of them hit you.

You come to hate them.

How dare your existence inconvenience them, even though you are using a crosswalk or crossing legally.

You come to view them as basically natural predators.

Here in Seattle, it makes the news every time someone is hit by a car. Most of the time, it's homeless people walking across the highway. Don't camp on the highway, people.

No, its absolutely does not.

I was homeless in Seattle for over a year.

And practically nobody camps on the highway, if you mean I5. They camp under it.

If you mean Aurora / Highway 99… sure, lots of people camp right on the sidewalk because its not really a highway within Seattle city limits.

But anyway, yeah, I personally knew a lot of other homeless people that got hit by cars, no media kerfuffle over them.

They still get hit crossing the highway. I live here, you can't deny reality.

But I believe you that they aren't always reported.

Yep, homeless people get hit on the highway.

I never said they don’t.

Almost no one camps there, as you said.

I live here, you can’t deny reality.

Yeah.

And so did I. For over a decade.

…Are you normally this gaslighty with people, putting words in their mouth and then calling them liars, upon being called out on your own lies?

Or do you just reserve that level of disrespect for people who’ve been homeless?

You're the one putting words in my mouth. I didn't call you a liar. And I don't disrespect homeless people. I think it's awful how often it's reported that some homeless individual has gotten hit trying to cross the highway. I've had to stop on the highway myself when people are trying to cross. It's an issue. And anyone who drives around here can see tents alongside the highway.

You said I cannot deny reality, that reality being that homeless people get hit on the highway.

I never did that.

I never said they do not get hit on the highway.

But you said I was denying this.

I was denying that homeless people often camp directly on or alongside ‘the highway’, which is so vague that I can only interperet it as I 5, which has no sidewalks, and where any tents that pop up there get taken down within 48 hrs max, because they’d be obstructing the shoulder lanes, and because most homeless people are not that directly suicidal.

No. That reality being that homeless individuals in Seattle get hit on highways is what I was commenting on and what you replied to.

I didn't say they often camp on highways. But they do, sometimes, camp on the highway. If you are denying that, you are lying. You can see it just by driving down the road. I'm talking about I-5. The only real highway here.

And I don't know when you lived here, but they are not taken down within 48 hours.

Edit:

I donate to DESC. I give food to people begging at street corners. I give food or money to people begging at grocery stores. My own father was homeless and I did everything for him to get back on his feet. So you don't fucking know how I feel about homelessness. Get off your high horse. You are wrong.

Go re read my posts and tell me where I denied that homeless people get hit on the highway.

You can’t, because I didn’t.

Go re read my posts and tell me where I said that you said people often camp on highways.

You can’t, because I didn’t.

And now you’ve specified that you are talking about I5, and that

they do, sometimes, camp on the highway. If you are denying that, you are lying. You can see it just by driving down the road. I’m talking about I-5. The only real highway here.

So when you say, on the highway, you actually mean next to, or adjacent to I5, in the greenspaces, not literally on the highway.

You can camp on Aurora/99/Airport because Aurora includes sidewalks.

As I thought I already made clear in my last comment, you cannot camp on I5 because you’d be on the shoulder or the middle of the road and that would get cleared out extremely quickly by SPD, KC Sheriffs, or Highway Patrol, or you might just your whole tent hit by a car.

You can camp adjacent to I5, in the greenspaces, and last … eh, maybe a few months tops, in one location.

Just because you keep seeing tents along I5 doesn’t mean the cops and social services aren’t constantly going around forcing specific people to move and then new tents from new people pop up in basicslly the same spot.

Also, great, you donated to DESC, your dad was homeless, you give money to people.

I am genuienly glad that you do this.

I used to co-lead the entire database management/analysis for Mary’s Place, came up with org wide policies based on the data I gathered, spearheaded new programs, designed new, and maintained and improved upon all the old, non 3rd party liscensed software systems vital to day to day functions of basically the entire org, sans accounting.

And I did outreach, on the streets, doing intake for homeless families, interviewing them, redesigning our intake processes to be more streamlined and less stressful for clients, focusing on the actual most common non English languages we encountered.

Oh and I myself was homeless, don’t have any family or friends that gave a shit.

But uh yeah anyway, I didn’t say I know how you feel about homeless people, I asked you, you didn’t directly answer, so I dropped it.

Guess this whole homeless topic is a bit of a sore spot for you.

I stare at them and yell “Fuck you”.

In that situation I would have yelled “You murderous piece of fucking shit. Stop driving a car. Fuck you.”

I really don’t care for people that think being calm in situations like this is the right choice. You almost fucking died, or worse, had to spend the rest of your life in a wheel chair while the driver has their wages garnished to pay for it; also for the rest of their lives. Swearing at them and cussing them out is the only way to get through to the bastards, if you’re lucky. Otherwise they’ll just forget that they almost killed someone a few minutes later.

On two occasions I’ve actually punched a car in a drive by. Once when I was crossing a zebra and a car just drove by with zero fuck given. I saw the car, jumped back and kicked the door, leaving a good mark. Driver got scared thinking he or she hit me and took off immediately.

The other time I was on a bike, going downhill straight on a crossing where I had the right of way. A big van makes a left turn right in front of me. I went full in the brakes, lifting y rear wheel up, and managed not to crash into him, but close enough to be able to punch the rear door with my fist. This one too took off immediately.

Fuck these assholes

“Don’t need to use that kind of language? Be glad I’m using my words at all you miserable sack of shit!”

I just straight up got hit crossing a crosswalk in Auckland, NZ. Did a full flip in the air, lost my glasses, and spider webbed most of the kid’s windshield with my head. I didn’t have to be angry. He took me back to his Mother’s to get me an ice pack, and she did all the work for me. I spent a few days picking shards of glass out of my neck, though.

Ironically, the previous week, another NZ kid rear-ended the car I had bought two hours prior, totalling it. That was the end of my car travel in New Zealand.

Is there no health care in NZ? Why didn't you go to a doctor for the shards in your neck?

I was visiting from the states, but I was on my way to a Psychiatrist appointment to get an adderall prescription when I got hit. I just checked with her to see if I was concussed.

She said that I talked kinda funny, but it was just because I was an American.

Also, the safety glass lodged in my neck was just tiny shards and at superficial depths. The only real damage I took was a torn Dickies shirt, which is wild given the damage I did to the car. Does that mean I have an auto immune disorder?

I wonder if you got hit because you were looking the wrong way, given the kiwis drive on the opposite side to what you’re used to

No, but I have actually been hit. Waited at the crosswalk for the light, looked before crossing, made it halfway across the three lane, one way road before some idiot turned (illegally into the middle lane) and hit me.

This is not very Buddhist of me, but I wish she could know that she gave me a concussion, permanently injured my knee, broke my nose, and ruined my credit because I had no health insurance, while all she got was a $67 traffic ticket. She even tried to fight it at court, saying that she shouldn't be held liable because she "didn't see [me]". I was wearing a bright orange shirt on a sunny day.

I will remember her name for the rest of my life.

Edit: I just googled her name (it's very unique) and it looks like she was let go from the Air Force after she was found guilty of running me over and her career suffered for a few years. So that's nice. But now she's working for the VA. Fuck that. I probably won't ever tell her what she did, but we'll see.

That sucks. Was she not liable for your healthcare if she was at fault? (I’m European, no idea how you guys do it.)
I think a good rule here is, “If I could reach your car, you were way too close.” I like to drum on the hoods of cars stopped halfway into the crosswalk at traffic lights too. No one has actually spoken to me the few times I’ve done it, just confused and/or angry looks depending on the MSRP of the vehicle.

I kick cars if they get too close… Same logic. If you’re close enough to kick, you were close enough to kill me.

It’s self defense at that point

One of my colleagues almost got hit recently, apparently he was crossing a pedestrian crossing, a woman was speeding up. He just had time to jump to the side! The woman was accompanied by a young woman (probably the one who alerted the driver) , they stopped and asked him “are you okay?!” after the driver told him she was sorry, that she hadn’t seen him -_-…

He told me that he had the reflex to jump, what would have happened with a child?

The interesting side of this story is that my colleague owns an (fucking) SUV…

SUVs are the most dangerous vehicles.

I’ve had cars hit several times by SUVs reversing (in fairness, most were well before backup cameras became standard). “I didn’t see you.” Yeah, no shit.

The most recent one was in broad daylight, they backed into my red car. How do you miss a red car in daylight? I also noted that the car is as tall as the average 10 year old, so if my car is in danger, then so are children.

Logical conclusion: SUVs are unsafe to back up, so they shouldn’t have reverse.

I said this at lunch one day to a group of friends, and one of the SUV-driving friends got offended. A few months later her SUV was in the shop for repairs after she …backed into some trash cans she couldn’t see. And hers was one of the smaller ones, like a RAV4 or something.

Close to my home, there is a crossing without traffic lights next to the bus stop I get off at. I can’t count the number of times a car, or even more frequently a motorbike, coming from the right sped up in order to be able to go through in front of me. And of course, most of the time they end up having to hard break in order to not run me over, and they still manage to complain (and most of the time while honking) that I am crossing at a crossing.

I have had that happen, the beeped me for crossing a zebra crossing that they wished to drive over. I took that as along for a conversation so I stopped in front of them and said “what?”

I feel like that annoyed them

“Did you just hit my car?”

“Do I look like fucking Ironman?”

I saw a cop actually pull someone over for making a left turn while someone was crossing the street and they didn’t leave much room between the person, it is the law in my area that pedestrians are to be fully clear of the crossing before a car can go. It is so rarely enforced that I was irrationally happy to see them pulled over for it. Part of this may be because its a crossing I use weekly to get to a grocery store.

I’m glad you are safe, if your city doesn’t have similar laws recomend them as well as other measures to your local politicians. Some of our intersections give pedestrians a head start before cars to put the pedestrians in the crosswalk before the light turns green to help increase visibility, your intersections might be able to have a similar feature with very little additional costs.

It’s the law where I live too, but I have never seen it enforced or even heard of it being enforced before until reading your comment.

In Illinois pedestrians always have the right of way. Even if they’re fucking stupid, like walking along the median at night in dark clothes.

If you’re going walking at night, I’d advise:

  • Wear a reflective vest. They’re dirt cheap.
  • Get a flashlight that you can clip on your belt or pocket - I got a good one when I moved into the suburban hinterlands, and you can’t fucking miss it.
  • Easier said than done, but didn’t just look for traffic - listen for it. And always err on the side of caution.
  • You can’t escape the need for cars, especially in America outside of urban areas, so you just need to be careful. And remember everybody - you, me, and Joe down the street, EVERYBODY, every single human alive - is a fucking idiot. It’s just a matter of degrees, subject matter, and self awareness.

    In Tajikstan they don’t have cars yet but if you get hit by a donkey then you’re entitled to three sheep compensation

    I used to get really uncharacteristically angry like this when I biked to work on a particularly bad road. I would almost get hit all the time. It felt like I was in a battle.

    I eventually dealt with it by taking a longer route to work that went out of the way to avoid that road. Not saying that’s a great solution but it’s what I had to do.

    I do drive, but also walk a lot and yes, I hit the hood of the car if crossing the street and someone starts to turn without looking the way they are going. Smack the hood, they stop, I cross. Can’t even count the number of times I’ve done that.

    As far as dealing with the anger, I would say your response was appropriate and it’s much better you didn’t smash her mirror.

    Honestly note their plate and get them fined, or sue them

    Today someone threatened to murder me.

    Our car battery died during a snow storm. We only have one car, but I have an e bike and the auto parts store is less than 10 minutes from me. The roads were shit, visibility was shit, but 80% of my ride was on a state designated bike path so I figured I’d be fine for a quick trip.

    I came up to the intersection in question and there was so much snow piled up between the bike path and the street I had to hop off the bike to get through it. The light was red in my favor, all traffic was stopped with no traffic coming from where the light was green. I started to cross the street and a HUGE truck waited until I was directly in front of him to slam on the gas, travel several feet at me, and then slam on the brakes just to intimidate me.

    I doubt I would have survived if he had decided to just keep driving. Even if the light had changed by the time I managed to get off the road, is one life really worth less than the 20 seconds it takes to wait for someone to cross??