ArilynI moved to NYC with my wife over a month ago. Relatedly, I've been struggling with waves of panic and anxiety. It's a horrible feeling, with lots of dread and fear when I attempt to do anything that I usually enjoy. I also think of the worst possible thing that could happen.
Last night while walking through the busy city, trying to center myself, I nearly reached my tipping point. It was loud and busy and chaotic, even at the riverside park. I felt like I had to get out. I needed to book a one way ticket to anywhere that was more peaceful, so I'd suffer less.
#anxiety
#anxiety
I broke down after I got home. The walk was supposed to chill me out, but when I got back I felt more trapped than ever. I cried and hugged my wife and felt dismal and sad. I had scheduled a visit with a psychiatrist, but because of Veteran's day I needed to survive until Tuesday.
#anxiety
#anxiety
I've been relentlessly looking for resources to help myself out. Last night I found Dare by Barry McDonagh, which gave me a tool to handle anxiety. He said to defuse the anxiety, allow it to happen, run towards it, and engage it (with your normal activities). It has helped me a little bit.
#anxiety
#anxiety
I woke up today at 9am with an intense feeling of anxiety. It's now about 11am and I am still battling it. But I'm trying to let the anxiety be, rationalizing that it cannot hurt me. It's still a struggle every moment, but it's better than focusing my every minute on breathing exercises.
#anxiety
#anxiety