Jeremy MallinI'm curious… how do fellow Autistics feel when one of your posts blows up on social media?
I often feel a weird combination of validation and dread at the same time with a bit of an instinct to hide.
Kevin Davy@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic
Yes, after a certain point the very definite urge to hide in a cupboard.
Yes, after a certain point the very definite urge to hide in a cupboard.
@pathfinder @actuallyautistic
Exactly. I wonder if that is a trauma response or something from years of social interactions not going well.
Exactly. I wonder if that is a trauma response or something from years of social interactions not going well.
@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic
There's definitely an air of unfamiliar country. But, also the trauma and memories of standing out never ending well.
There's definitely an air of unfamiliar country. But, also the trauma and memories of standing out never ending well.
Micah@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic That is exactly the combination I experience. I find I get overwhelmed by the (positive, but still overwhelming) response.
Sometimes it feels like too much so I will intentionally not add hash tags on some posts in an effort to reduce it. Just depends how I feel that day.
Dweebish@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic Yep. I'm in the same place.
Bard 
@JeremyMallin @[email protected] Kind of similar. It starts with a warm validation of knowing people are resonating with and liking what I post. Once the interactions hit a certain threshold and continue though, there's a bit of an "Oh gods what have I done?" mentality, coupled with an anxiety that I might miss my friends' notifications in the flood.
josh susser@JeremyMallin Yes, it's a mixed blessing for me, though it wasn't always like that. I think a lot of it is how the internet has changed over the years, and how much more overt harassment and abuse there is now. Back in the day, I had a programming joke blog post blow up and it made the front page of reddit and I had over 100,000 views in a day and nobody took it the wrong way or called me a piece of shit or anything. But it was roughly the same time when I responded to a tweet about a programming conference with an off-hand comment about how all the presenters were white men when the conference was billed as showcasing a diverse set of speakers, and a bunch of people got mad at me and I got insults and even a death threat from someone in Australia. That's the kind of crap I dread, inadvertently putting my foot in it and giving hordes of internet haters an excuse to descend on me and be mean and abusive just for kicks.
Mostly, I think social media was a bad idea, or a good idea turned bad by internet scale. Humans evolved to function in relatively small social groups, and our social abilities don't work well at the scale of millions. We don't have what it takes to function under the constant scrutiny of millions of strangers who will judge everything about us and may turn on us at any moment. I don't think anyone can handle that, even the big names with zillions of followers, who all end up as warped caricatures of themselves. So it's basically all the problems with regular celebrity, but almost none of the benefits that come with it.
@joshsusser That but about evolving to be comfortable in somewhat small social groups really resonates with me. I often think there is a maximum upper limit that we're capable of.
Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama@JeremyMallin @joshsusser
honestly, I keep thinking about the fairy tale troll who lives under the bridge, some disabled weirdo that they don’t want to kill but don’t want to live with so they push him to the bridge where he says, Fine, but no further, and perhaps he maintains the bridge and guilt-robs all who use it and this is his social life and his life. I know it’s a fairy tale, but 😬
honestly, I keep thinking about the fairy tale troll who lives under the bridge, some disabled weirdo that they don’t want to kill but don’t want to live with so they push him to the bridge where he says, Fine, but no further, and perhaps he maintains the bridge and guilt-robs all who use it and this is his social life and his life. I know it’s a fairy tale, but 😬
@JeremyMallin @joshsusser
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Weird to say, but I’m pissed off that I “made it,” that I managed to look like I could take care of myself and that Mom let me wander off into the world clueless, I think they should have kept me locked in the basement and remained responsible for my care and feeding, ffs, how bad does it have to be before anybody offers any help at all
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Weird to say, but I’m pissed off that I “made it,” that I managed to look like I could take care of myself and that Mom let me wander off into the world clueless, I think they should have kept me locked in the basement and remained responsible for my care and feeding, ffs, how bad does it have to be before anybody offers any help at all
@JeremyMallin My radical idea for fixing social media is for it to be scaled down to community size, so most interaction is among people in your community (or one of them), and stuff that is popular enough gets to leak out to other communities. No platform should have billions, or even millions, of users. I can't think of even one big platform that doesn't have major, intractable problems.
@joshsusser @JeremyMallin
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I always sort of try to imagine some meritocracy of thought online, millions of minds, it’s sad we can’t agree on a filter or some rational ranking system, use the virtual space to sort out humanity’s best thoughts. 🙄❤️
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I always sort of try to imagine some meritocracy of thought online, millions of minds, it’s sad we can’t agree on a filter or some rational ranking system, use the virtual space to sort out humanity’s best thoughts. 🙄❤️
@joshsusser @JeremyMallin
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but the tiniest of minorities think their few brains are better than all of us put together
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but the tiniest of minorities think their few brains are better than all of us put together
El Jefé@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic I'll let you know when it happens
Cysio 
@JeremyMallin Depends on where. If on fedi, it's okay. If on corporate social media, it fills me with a hint of dread
Roknrol like the slur@JeremyMallin I generally enjoy it for the first few hours. The more it gets boosted, the longer it "lives", the more certain I am that some asshole will jump into the fray.
I'm usually right when it comes to that.
I tolerate it though, because if not to be heard, why else would I post?
I admit though, I usually go through a period where I need to back off from social media and withdraw, usually for a couple of days I won't post much (even if I'm boosting or whatever)
exme@JeremyMallin I delete any post that gets too much attention. I mean I love to be heard but if it continues the next day it's too much and I usually delete it.
@exme @JeremyMallin
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yeah. I'm small enough that if I do that, then my notifications are few enough to actually deal with. Or mute, if it's harmless, but often if it's popular, I won't think it's harmless.
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yeah. I'm small enough that if I do that, then my notifications are few enough to actually deal with. Or mute, if it's harmless, but often if it's popular, I won't think it's harmless.