cheese_greaterWhat are your first principles (rules you've developed) in your life?
deegeese“First is best”
To avoid overthinking decisions that don’t really matter, the first acceptable choice is the correct one.
Save your indecision for stuff that matters.
Relates to intuition right?
I’m sure your wife loves you…
“Babe, why do you only last 2 minutes when we make love?”
“I’m first to cum! I win at sex!”
If you ain’t first, you’re last Ricky Bobby!
You’re saying your wife’s pleasure doesn’t matter to you?
Me? I was talking about YOU! Its your rule.
For making choices. It’s not a race, buddy.
BoozillaWork on diagnosing and fixing the problem first, worry about appointing blame later (if at all).
This one is very important. This is one of those helpful rules I’ve actually learned in business environment first before I started applying it in personal life.
There exists a problem. Problem requires a solution. Solution requires diagnosing problem and using reasoning to solve craft solution.
Assigning blame (root cause analysis) can wait. First, fix problem. Then analyze how/why problem happened and implement corrective and preventative actions.
A company I used to work for actually had a policy of never to assign root cause as “Human error”. Individuals actually never got blamed. Instead, it was perhaps that there wasn’t enough training, or certain procedures were lacking which could’ve prevented the problem, etc.
One time someone had accidentally broke an $8 million dollar piece of equipment. They were never fired, or reprimanded at all. Instead, the investigation assigned root cause to lack of adequate safety procedures, or something like that. Therefore actions are taken to help prevent recurrence instead of just saying “They did it! Fire them!!”
They were a great company to work for because of this.
DreamButtIf it works for you, do it. Ignore what other people think
People either enhance or diminish your life. Very few are neutral.
Treat them accordingly.
What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?
Call me Lenny/LeniI have a whole growing plethora of these, rules of thumb I consider in the long scheme of organization. Where would I start if not to ask about stuff?
Forgive yourself when you fuck up
Still learning this one.
I find I easily forgive myself if I immediately recognize the fuckup and have a plan started or in the works to prevent it happening again.
Kind of a “fool me once: shame on this. fool me twice: shame on me” alto its infinitey recursive so I would simply start back at 1
Also, if you’re not fucking up occasionally, then you’re probably not pushing yourself hard enough
KalciferAs a counter to perfectionism: “If it’s worth doing, then it’s worth doing poorly.”
MVP is a good tool of thumb also. What is the simplest end result you can work towards to establish a foundation/working model you can iterate over if necessary later to “perfect”
I always liked, “Perfect is the enemy of good,” and a close second, “Make it work, then make it better.”
Make it work, then make it better.
I really like this one. It’s borderline a mantra.
Don’t have your mouth write checks your ass can’t cover
Or
Under promise while over deliver
Aim to surprise, and you’ll never not impress. Unless its a dark surprise.
Make it work, then make it work right.
And it’s companion for understanding how things came to be- every complex working system invariably developed from a simple working system
Have strong opinions that are weakly held.
Don’t let “perfect” be the enemy of “good”
Now that I think about it, my principles like my life may be all about engineering…
MVP is a good tool I was just mentioning. Picked it up unknowingly from coding, still working on generalizing it to my life but its working for me
Why does one need strong opinions? And what are they actually?
To me, having a strong opinion means I have thought about the problem space enough to understand what I believe are the important aspects and what optimizes them. Remembering to hold them weakly in the light of previously unconsidered or under appreciated arguments prevents me from becoming overly rigid.
Have strong opinions that are weakly held.
Ooh this is excellent phrasing of a good principle
SusagaDon’t let “perfect” be the enemy of “good”.
When I make maps for ttrpgs, I’ve started using a tool that is, let’s be honest, kinda crap. The maps I can make using it can only ever be “good enough.” This is good, because it means I don’t spent hours trying to make it perfect, and instead just finish prepping other things.
Im obsessed with truth. Its been a struggle and kept my mind occupied much through my life. It still stays with me but I am more accepting that it is a journey without end. As for the truths the acceptance of the never ending journey and the ethic of least harm. I lean toward selfishness in my morality so am unwilling to compromise for the greater good.
dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️When deciding what to do, the order of trumps is legal, then prudent, then right. Do what is legal unless what is prudent is illegal, then do what is prudent. If doing what is right is neither prudent or legal, do it anyway because it’s right.
Never start fights with people. Always be prepared to finish a fight someone else starts with you, quickly, without posturing, hesitation, or mercy. Regardless of their size, shape, color, creed, or uniform, bullies can never be allowed to win.
When solving a problem, always start with the simplest possibility first.
Never lend anyone: Your truck, your pen, your chainsaw, or your wife. No matter what, they’re going to do something with them that you’re not going to like.
You can never have too many pens, flashlights, knives, or bullets.
If someone tells you something, that something does not get repeated without asking for permission first. People don’t have to say “can I tell you this in confidence?” Absolutely everything is kept in confidence.
Go at your own pace, build habits. You can get good at anything if you stick with it long enough and don’t compare yourself to others.
Mister NeonAdapt or die.
ITT Americans using morning news headlines to cope with their miserable 3rd world existence.
ITT presumptive condescending europeans
“Always eat your dessert first”
Meaning, when you feel overwhelmed by a huge task or a long list of tasks in front of you, start with the easiest and smallest parts. That way you overcome the inertia and the feeling of standing in front of a huge, looming mountain.
Once you’ve started, the next task on the list is just a little bigger than the last, which you’ve just successfully completed. That was you can get a lot done, step by step.
When only the biggest and most difficult tasks are left, you can break them down into smaller steps (don’t “clean the house”, just “pick up this one thing and put it away”), and again, do the easiest steps first.
Some people say you should start with the hardest stuff to get it behind you, but I have ADHD and trying that just keeps me from starting anything at all.
Save the hard stuff for earlier tho. You have the most energy and patience earlier after you sleep so optimize for that window or energy
And then you fail, or you’re overwhelmed by negative emotions associated with the task, and you’re frustrated and go back to doomscrolling or trying out another Linux distro.
I can’t save the world, but I can make my corner a little nicer.
Decision results in bad outcome. Oh well, lesson learned.
I have no more right to interfere in someone else’s life than they have to interfere in mine.
Avoid people who don’t share that view.
“First thing you learn is that you always gotta wait.” Taken from the Velvet Underground about buying drugs, but I think it’s pretty applicable to everything.
Be unremarkable but no so unremarkable as to be in and of itself remarkable
- Absolutely no littering ever.
- If I drive I don’t drink. Not even one.
- No lying. Not even white lies.
- If everyone did what I do and the world would be a worse place for it, then don’t do it.
- Good deeds done in secret are twice the karma.
🇸🇵🇪🇨🇺🇱🇦🇹🇪🇷That’s stupid as fuck, number 3 specifically.
“Are you harboring Jews in your house?”
“I didn’t lie, so yes I am, they’re in the attic.”
10_0s BasementThat esclated quickly
You also could have just asked for further explanation, but whatever. Being a jerk is fine too I guess.
I just very much don’t like that there are people who claim there’s never a good lie, even white lies. Look at a less extreme example, your buddy is shot and bleeding out as you hold his hand. “Don’t worry, you’re going to make it.” Is a perfectly okay lie.
Lying about many subjects is acceptable as well. Do you like my haircut? Isn’t my baby adorable? Why do you want to work here? Did you like my lasagna?
Being honest is cruel sometimes, it doesn’t make anyone a better person.
There are situations where telling a lie is the moral thing to do. Physical violence / murder is a worse offence than lying, so if by not telling the truth you can avoid a bigger harm, then it’s the right thing to do.
HarmoniousTreat others the way you’d like to be treated. When I call customer support, I don’t get mad at the person because it’s not their fault. If someone flubs up my order I don’t say anything. I try to smile to everyone even though I don’t want to. Even if I don’t make their day better, I try to make it at least bearable.
Never trust in anyone even your own shadow.
Look after your tools, as the old saying goes.
Tywèle [she|her]Don’t spend energy on things you can’t change anyway.
Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good (enough).
MegaUltraChickenAdmit when I’m wrong.
Probably my favorite realization in life was that I might be wrong. Always, not matter how confident, we are all wrong sometimes. Even about the most basic facts, we could be wrong because brains are weird. So, I just try and minimize that while recognizing it.
And learn how to defend when you’re not. Some assholes use it as an excuse to divert blame to the guy who tends to admit fault, even if it’s not actually their fault.
Lvxferre [he/him]/me grabs soapbox
I’ll focus on people. I avoid people who consistent or egregiously:
- are assumptive, gullible, or fallacious.
- expect me to be assumptive, gullible, or fallacious.
- are eager to violate the others’ autonomy; for example, the “I never take a «no» for an answer” ones.
- defend their actions based on intentions (instead of responsibility, outcome, or info at hand).
- expect me to apologise for things they know I have no blame for.
- claim that fighting back makes me as bad as my enemies, i.e. who expect me to become a punching bag.
Note: “consistent or egregiously” is key here. A brainfart or a derp is fine; but some things happen too often, or are too strong, to be considered simply brainfarts.
[Self-replying to avoid editing the above.]
Or perhaps a better first rule would be “judging and acting only come after understanding”.