I feel like I'm in a battle of wills with my wife where I keep trying to reduce my life and she keeps trying to extend it. I long for wine and biscuits and sitting still for long periods of time, whilst she gives me unexpected muesli and makes me go on long walks.

This is a humblebrag really. I'm really very lucky and grateful. I like to tell my family that if it wasn't for them holding me back, I would be a billionnaire astronaut rockstar filmstar painter by now. They retort that actually I would have been found dead in a ditch many years ago. I will never admit it, but they're probably right.