Mastodawn

ericbomb Jul 18, 2024

Fellow Men, what are some compliments you would like to recieve?

https://lemmy.world/post/17669321

Fellow Men, what are some compliments you would like to recieve? - Lemmy.World

I want to work on complimenting other men more! Specifically my goal is to compliment people on things they clearly worked hard on or put in effort, cause it sucks if you work super hard or care about something and then don’t feel like anyone notices. So I’m going to try and compliment people who: Have really well done and unique tattoos Are older but super athletic (It’s harder and more thankless, since when you’re young and athletic you’re usually in sports and get lots of praise. At least that was my experience) Have super sharp outfits Have really nice shoes (nice shoes are expensive and keeping them clean is legit hard) what are other good compliments we should give each other?

Kimdracula Jul 18, 2024

I honestly don’t like to receive compliments from dudes. Here nobody does that. From a girl is different and has “value” but from a dude is just weird.

silly goose meekah Jul 18, 2024

I think that’s a you issue though. Recently a dude complimented my moustache (I grew it out for a while and put a bunch of effort into making it curly) and that felt awesome.

Kimdracula Jul 18, 2024

How’s that a me issue? I’m not the one complimenting guys.

silly goose meekah Jul 18, 2024

I think it’s a you issue because you think giving compliments from man to man is weird. What exactly is your issue with it? Are you afraid it makes you look gay or something? For example, if I’m wearing a shirt of a band I like, and another dude compliments it, why would that not make me feel good? Feeling seen is a human need I think, it gives a sense of belonging.

tobogganablaze Jul 18, 2024

For example, if I’m wearing a shirt of a band I like, and another dude compliments it, why would that not make me feel good?

I’d say it depends on how you compliment it exactly. If you say “That’s a nice shirt”, that’s basically saying you have good taste. I see no issue with that.

But if you’d say “You look nice in that shirt”, that would be weird and I’d assume you’re coming on to me.

silly goose meekah Jul 18, 2024

But why is it weird? As long as whoever compliments you like that doesn’t try to kiss you, what’s the issue? To me it seems there is some homophobia lingering there.

It’s not a big issue. It would just feel weird, I can’t give you a reason.

To me it seems there is some homophobia lingering there.

If it was coming from a gay guy, that would acually make it better. At least then you understand the motivation for commenting on another guy’s looks.

silly goose meekah Jul 18, 2024

Hmm, fair enough.

I removed that sentence because I realized it was a bit assumptious. But honestly I don’t understand why it would be better from a gay person. That would make me personally more uncomfortable, because it would feel like an advance that I would not be able to retort. If it would come from someone I assume ia straight, I would just take it as a compliment. Like, I can see how other men are beautiful/handsome, even though I have no sexual interest.

tobogganablaze Jul 18, 2024

Well, if very much the exact opposite for me. I really don’t understand why you would care about how other people look unless it’s physical attraction. Telling someone that they look good without any physical attraction seems very unsincere to me. Like, why do you care how I look like if you have no interest? It’s just weird.

Now I do agree there are some exceptions for extreme cases. I can look at Ryan Gosling and it’s hard to ignore that he is a very beautiful/handsome man. But I still wouldn’t tell HIM that. First of all, he knows and second, for what purpose? I’m not really interested, he’s interessted. It would be a weird thing to say.

silly goose meekah Jul 18, 2024

It’s not about caring about the way someone looks, it’s about appreciating something someone has put effort into or the way they express themselves, imo

I guess Ryan gosling knows it, yeah. But probably not every man you see on the bus or at the grocery store does. So why not brighten their day a little? I like to compliment guys on tattoos or nice hairstyles etc when I notice it.

tobogganablaze Jul 18, 2024

it’s about appreciating something someone has put effort into or the way they express themselves, imo {

So basically A for effort, that’s exactly what I mean by it being insincere.

But probably not every man you see on the bus or at the grocery store does. So why not brighten their day a little?

Because that is just lying to people to make them feel better. It’s patronizing and disrespectful.

silly goose meekah Jul 18, 2024

why would it be insincere? again, sounds like a you problem to me.

tobogganablaze Jul 18, 2024

What do you mean why? YOU just explained it to me.

You said you would tell someone their beautiful, not because they actually are, but because you’re regonize that they put in effort. That’s insincere.

You said you should tell random people on the bus (most of them will be very average looking) that they are beautiful, because you want to make them feel better. It doesn’t get more insincere than that.

Also, there is no problem because guys randomly complimenting each other isn’t a widespread thing in the real world. And in my book that’s a good thing. There is already enough lying and disconnect from reality in the world.

silly goose meekah Jul 18, 2024

obviously I’d only say it when I actually think it’s beautiful… I just prefer to compliment something where they put in effort instead of just ‘nice eyes’ or some bullshit like that.

you added the part where I just say it to everyone in your interpretation.

Kimdracula Jul 19, 2024

Hell, majority of guys DON’T wanna receive compliments from another dude. Even if Reddit tries to make you believe that isn’t the truth. We, as males wanna be out at least look strong and being told sissy shit is far from it. Again, from a girl has a lot more of merit, especially since she don’t go around saying them to guys usually unless I dunno, every dude in her condo is a model.