here's one of today's posts:

when i learn a new set of pronouns for someone, i practice talking about them in my head. whether they are new pronouns to me like neopronouns i haven't used before, or i have gotten used to calling someone a certain pronoun, this takes PRACTICE.

so many well-meaning people assume that because they do not wish us harm that they will get the pronouns right. and they don’t practice at all. then they are devastated when they are told they have misgendered someone, and now it’s all about how sad they feel.

take some time to practice.

one time i was a guest on one of those lockdown era streaming synth shows. i later informed the host that he had misgendered me and gave him the above advice.

and he said "i am devastated." and then proceeded to talk about how bad he felt for TWENTY MINUTES, making me feel pressured to comfort him. he rewatched the segment in question and saw the part where i'd tried to correct him in the moment and he hadn't heard me and he got even more distraught. it was total agony for me to have to deal with this, from an "ally".

just correct, and move on. or in a case like this, say i'm sorry, i'll work on this in the future (and stand by it and DO work on it)

like seriously, you need to practice. you probably don't even realize what you are doing if you're not used to this.

when i was visiting my hometown last i was getting increasingly frustrated with my mom's partner misgendering me, so my mom talked to him.

"It's really important that we use [forestine]'s pronouns correctly, they/them"
"I thought we WERE using her pronouns"

🤦

additional beef

Trying to cram nonbinary into existing sayings is infantalizing and cheesy and utilizes existing binaries! The binary is the problem, people!!

When addressing a group, try "distinguished guests", "folks", "everyone", etc.

"Ladies and gentlethems" – Barf. And not all nonbinary people use they/them

"Guys, gals, and nonbinary pals" – I'm not your pal. I don't know you.