Mastodawn

Erica the fae Jul 1, 2024

I'm really struggling with my thesis work right now - I'm not sure I've managed to work more than one day in the last week... fortnight? And what I did get done was the more hands-on stuff, but the next step is "just" to sit down and write. And it's not like I have grand goals or anything like that - I just need to do SOMETHING.

But it's as if every time I as much as think about thinking about sitting down to do said work, my mind goes "nope!" and shifts focus to something else, anything else.

I know it's typical ADHD stuff, that I struggle to find the work motivating or rewarding in any way, and that I've probably been under stress for so damn long that all this nothingness is partly a freeze response. But I still need to fucking work.

And I'm so frustrated and angry and hopeless, because this inability to "do" have defined my life for decades now. I don't know how to change it.

What if I can't change it?

#adhd #help

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The Other Brook Jul 1, 2024

@erica I recognize you didn't ask for advice, but if you are okay with it I'll tell you a thing that's worked for me in similar situations. (At the moment I'm thriving in the chaos of having a zillion things of equal importance to bounce between,)

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Erica the fae Jul 1, 2024

@theotherbrook Yes, please!

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The Other Brook Jul 1, 2024

@erica Okay!

So first, I'd go to a coffee shop I liked but which wasn't frequented by people I knew. It doesn't have to be a coffee shop but just somewhere away from the distractions of home. ("Has the stuff in the fridge changed from the last time I looked? Nope. What about now? Is it different now?")

Then I'd put on my headphones and start playing music I've loved since my early teens. You know, the stuff you can lip sync along to without any conscious thought whatsoever. That always helps to hypnotize my brain weasels.

Then I'd start a Pomodoro timer app I installed on my laptop. 25 minutes of work, a short break, 25 minutes of work, repeat...

No matter how much I'd be procrastinating at first, after a couple Pomodoro cycles I'd find myself on break getting excited about the idea I just had and couldn't wait to get back to work on. The breaks were essential to recharging.

Of course we all ADHD differently so I'm not going to swear this works for anyone else. Another thing that helps me is giving myself permission to drink Gatorade (not sure if that vile concoction exists where you are) but only if I'd checked the label to make sure it was sweetened with glucose (usually labelled as "dextrose" when used in food products). Glucose is the brain's food and getting it straight instead of having to break it down from more complex carbs is an instant boost.

Here's more on Pomodoro if you aren't familiar with it:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique

Pomodoro Technique - Wikipedia

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Erica the fae

@theotherbrook Thank you!

I've tried going to other places before and it never really worked - but perhaps I should give it a try again, just in case?

My main problem with it is noise - I'm not one of those who can listen to music or a movie or simply people talking without being utterly distracted to the point of annoyance. I think a lot of ADHD'ers thrive with music or added sound of some kind, but my brain does not like the extra input (a good playlist works wonders for physical work and podcasts are brilliant for crafting, but when trying to write or think I need silence).

I absolutely agree with you about the importance of breaks - in my good periods it has worked really well to work for 55 minutes and then get up for 5 minutes (it really helped med recharge, as you say, and kept me from burning out too easilly). Perhaps I need to lower the time expectancy significantly, at least while I'm struggling this much?

Although if I tell myself to "just work for five minutes" my brain automatically adds "but you're expected to keep working" and "remember how terrible you felt the last time you got stuck? yeah, it's gonna be like that again". It's as if I can't separate the individual task from the whole, if that makes sense?