myrmepropagandist

Ever since I broke my leg I sometimes trip. It's scary since I'm scared I'll land in a way that could set off a lot of pain. But what's worse is I'm not doing so great being reasonable about it after. I first feel very stupid for falling over, then upset that I'm so upset about something so stupid.

Whoever designed emotions was and idiot and should be fired.

Like obviously I have a mostly metal leg, not walking perfectly is normal. But I still beat myself up for not being more careful. WHY.

Apr 29, 2024 at 7:58pmWeb
Show threadJessamynApr 29, 2024
@futurebird I am similar after a broken ankle about 13 years ago. No metal leg but still some general wibbliness and then a lot of YOU LIVE ALONE DO BETTER self talk which is not great!
Show threadPaul-Gabriel WienerApr 29, 2024
@futurebird We all suffer from internalized ableism. I'm sorry you're coping with that. But... are you using a cane? It took me way too long to admit that I needed one. I was scared of what others would think/say. But I was so much better off with it, and no one ever questioned it, even though I was in my 20s (and looked like a teenager). Got a pretty nice stylish cane, too, which felt cool.
Show threadmyrmepropagandistApr 29, 2024

@WearsHats

I use the cane if my leg is acting up due to weather. The falling is mostly due to forgetting that I can't just just run without thinking about it more than I used to. One leg responds the other is like "what? huh?" and it's not so great.

Show threadPaul-Gabriel WienerApr 29, 2024
@futurebird Ah, yeah. That would be very disorienting. Hopefully you'll get into new habits that work better. Always takes a while to relearn your stride.
Show threadmyrmepropagandistApr 29, 2024

@WearsHats

There is definitely some of that ablism in the sheer nastiness and impatience I'm having with myself. I would be aghast if someone spoke to another person or even themselves like that.

But these things have a way of running deep. And its not making anyone tough or happy.

Show threadPaul-Gabriel WienerApr 29, 2024
@futurebird 💯 It's so hard having to fight that in your own head when it's directed at yourself. I wish we taught each other better.
Show threadBen AvelingApr 29, 2024
@futurebird This may sound like a stupid question, but have you practiced falling?
It is a skill, it can be taught/learnt, and it can make a huge difference.
Show threadmyrmepropagandistApr 29, 2024

@BenAveling

I might ask the PT people about that. Before I was injured I did in-fact do this since I did a lot of skiing and it's all about "falling right"

But nothing from before applies now. So it's just terrifying.

Show threadBen AvelingApr 29, 2024
@futurebird I would be looking for the right teacher. Advice I once got was try a judo instructor, but there might be better options.
Show threadDavid ForsythApr 29, 2024

@BenAveling @futurebird

#YesHaHaHaYES

I learned how to fall from #Skateboarding, but YMMV.

N.B. I still suffer similar annoyance when falling 'incorrectly'.

Show threadSarah E BourneApr 30, 2024
@futurebird @BenAveling A fairly long time ago, I read a story about a European (Scandinavian maybe?) nursing home that had regular classes in how to fall. Big returns on reduced injury rates.