@mekkaokereke Part of the reason I left academia years ago is my "onboarding" process for the first few months of my first post-Ph. D. job looked like this:
Week 1:
[X] Get desk, university ID card, keys to the lab, and stuff like that
[X] Start learning in more detail about projects the lab does
Month 1:
[X] Pick a project.
[X] Attend group meetings.
[X] Learn how to use some of the lab's instrumentation.
Quarter 1:
[] Be familiar with all lab instrumentation including the ones with no manuals
[] You’re still asking other people for help with this? Cut it out. You should know how to do all of this by now.
[] Be able to undo previous people's experiments before doing your own, without fscking them up
[] You’re still asking other people how to avoid screwing up their stuff when you set up your work? See above about knowing how to do all that by now.
[] Have enough data on your chosen project to start presenting meaningfully in group meetings
[X] Project not working? Sucks to be you. Find another one to get more data from.
Half-year 1:
[] You have lots and lots of good data, right?
[X] OK, observe your PI kick collaborating prof out of collaboration and saying we're going to go our own way
[X] ...Including managing all the supplies, lab protocols, etc., that the collaborating team was the expert on, not you
Year 1:
[] Start writing first paper.
[] Congratulations, you're onboarded!
[X] Oh, no useful data? Pull trigger on "leave not just job but career and ponder something less stressful, like software development at a small company that wants all things web, right now"
By comparison, onboarding as a software developer/engineer has been much less painful.