Sorry to neg on anything, but the #Northman is the worst kind of pajamajaculator.

I am predisposed to love movies involving #Vikings, but #TheNorthman is absolute dogshit.

The script is fucking absurd and cannot be saved by Ethan Hawke growling, roaring, screaming, whispering or squeaking his lines.

Plot-wise, it's a bog-standard "oh you killed my dad and fucked my mum" revenge fantasy, which is basically #Hamlet so fuck you.

Everyone involved should die of shame.

#cinemastodon

@misterprickles sounds like you enjoyed being repulsed by the movie. Can you define “pajamajaculator”? 😂

@ShaunKL

I think you're right. Sometimes you need a little outrage to feel alive 😄

A "pajamajaculator" is a movie you stay up to watch when it is entirely inappropriate for your age group. Yet you are pretty much the only audience it would satisfy. An "R" rated movie for 12 year olds.