Mastodawn

I'm not sure that I explained myself well and it is a complicated area. I started thinking about it because there are always people who support body positivity in private but publicly post a small slice of body types.

I wonder why the difference. I know that there have been people who I have later discovered didn't want others to think that they would like outside the slim genre.

I'm not criticising. I'm wondering.

Fuzzy Peach (moving to 4bear)Mar 16, 2024

@ht_honey ah, I don't know why they would unless they are part way along that journey of uneducating themselves from bullshit societal "standards" and relearning what is actually sexy, but they are still in a sheep mindset about what to repost for clout?

@fuzzypeach I think that you may have hit the nail on the head.

Martina Neumayer Apr 10, 2024

@ht_honey Well there can be many different reasons for that. Mostly it is from shame. People are ashamed and afraid of that what the others says or think about that what they are doing, especially today online. You know.. "What my boss is going to do when he get what I am doing online?". I don't wonder for them, because all that "privacy hype" made by media, has gone a bit to far and to misleading. The second thing is that, that the society is not ready for people who are open, open minded etc.

Martina Neumayer Apr 10, 2024

@ht_honey 2/n The society is not yet ready for the real freedom. Especially in the own body, intimacy and similar topics. Look at the whole gender story and how the people/society reacted on/to it. It's a basically a same thing. Tons of negativity, harassment bullying. That's why lots of people are separating their private stuff and thoughts from their let's say professional, work or even family ones. I saw such behavior many times. At work one face, at home, privately totally different one.

Martina Neumayer Apr 10, 2024

@ht_honey 3/n Keeping it separate, the work life from the private life is not that bad. I personally learned and did that due the time and also due to the art of my work I did many years. It was sometimes even necessary to do that. But it was an healthy separation. I was perhaps lucky because most of my friends, my family and also my husband knows about what I was doing for living. They accepted that and me, and never had any problems with. Perhaps that's the clou here - the lack of acceptance?

Crocket Mar 16, 2024

@ht_honey there are 1000’s of beautiful fitness models out there who can get they’re ankles behind they’re ears and I do enjoy looking at them, but they are two a penny and I most of the time I glance and swipe past them. I spend more time and attention on a “real” woman who’s images are sexy but with class and style. That’s my view I don’t know if it shared by others.

mollysdailykiss Mar 16, 2024

@ht_honey I will be really interested to see what replies you get to this because I have definitely experienced this. Both in terms of body size but also in terms of age.

If all someone does is share images of pics of people who are 20+ years younger than me and a conventionally 'perfect bod' I am always dubious.

I will say there is a massive lack of images of people who don't fit that description which part of why i share mine but still.

@Mollysdailykiss When all the images are slender and young, it makes me not trust their compliments. It takes me back to the occasions where people used compliments as a bullying tactic in front of others.

I absolutely don't think I ma being bullied but it can very easily feel like mockery.

mah:~ $

Mar 16, 2024

@ht_honey I think it depends, some people will drop a comment 'during that moment' which could be just for the sake of it, or they might not be following other people with the same body type as yours.

And I mean, this is the www, people do random things all the time so I wouldn't overthink it.

@mah If it is a random comment, I never sweat it. I'm talking about people who want to talk etc and sometimes more.

mah:~ $

Mar 16, 2024

@ht_honey then it's probably an in the moment thing. You know what I mean right?

Focused and Filthy Mar 16, 2024

@ht_honey there isn’t as much content made with real or larger body shapes. So much less is shared. There are billions of pics of skinny and scantily clad women out there so there is more to share and traditionally that’s what people think people want to see. Because there wasn’t an alternative. I like things that I don’t post so maybe that person does too 🤷‍♀️

@ht_honey My view is that there is no algorithm which will separate the sincere sheep from the insincere goats for you. Trustworthiness and sincerity are built through relationships and all the rest are random views which require no special acknowledgement either way.

@black_flag I agree.

I have so much more to say but I don't want anyone to interpret it as an attack on anyone.

@ht_honey But, to be clear, I also think you are overthinking. Or, at least, I question the value of concerning yourself with it too much. Concentrate on the opinions that matter (which are those from people you value) rather than random opinions would be my advice.

Stutographer Mar 16, 2024

@ht_honey society's idea of what the 'ideal' body whether male or female is saturates social media, and with few alternatives representing real people and real bodies it's unsurprising that those are the images they share. I would think kinks would be similarly not catered for. Maybe they just can't find the right images? As with most things, trust your own judgement. especially if something doesn't ring true to you.

Kris Mar 16, 2024

@ht_honey I'm 5'8" & my wife is 5'11". I love my wife w/ all my heart & I think she's hot as hell, but in general I'm not usually turned on by tall women. Usually it's petites that get my attention.

While it may not be the norm, I wouldn't just assume others are lying. You might just be an outlier.

Fuzzy Peach (moving to 4bear)Mar 16, 2024

@ht_honey some people do like a large range of bodies. For me, the intent and feeling behind a picture is almost as hot as the image itself. The energy of confidence and pleasure coming through a picture that someone has taken and then decided to share of themselves? So hot!! They would be beautiful!

@fuzzypeach This. So much this. I don't have a type but I definitely have energy responses.

@ht_honey @fuzzypeach I would add my +1 to this too. There are people I follow (and my follow is a sign of their value to me) but that doesn't mean I boost everything they post. For me a boost requires to be a special or outstanding picture (whatever that means) and thats usually judged in the moment, according to mood, etc.

In other words, not every photo deserves special praise or recommendation but it doesn't necessarily mean anything nefarious is going on if it doesn't get it.

@black_flag @fuzzypeach So to be clear, this wasn't a complaint about not being boosted. It was about the discrepancy between words in private and what they share in public.

It was not about whether they comment, boost etc my images. I don't think that I have explained it well.

@ht_honey Perhaps I have also not been concentrating. My head is a shed. Sorry Honey.

Honey Mar 17, 2024

@black_flag Don't worry. I think that I whinge about self esteem and body image too much and that when I am trying to talk about different nuances of posting and messages, it's lost. Amd I can't illustrate what I mean without showing examples and that leads to other problems.