Q: What would you do if there was a catastrophic attack on AES?
Me: buy a dairy farm in the alps while money still has meaning, and run a little Almhütten in isolation, while civilization collapses around me.
This points to an important hole in my remediation plan: I need to acquire some dairy farming skills

@sophieschmieg You will need a deep dive into EU agricultural subsidies! It is complicated enough that there are advisors who make a good living helping with subsidy applications and requirements.

And mountain pasture, in spite of the receding snow line, is expensive and jealously guarded by locals. They have sayings like "until your family has five generations in the ground here, you're still an outsider".

@sophieschmieg Farm kid here... And I ran away from it when I had the chance. Although I love the idea of the mountain refuge! Real Heidi feel to that existence.

@sophieschmieg When I was a kid, it wasn't too long after the Bay of Pigs invasion and the Cuban nuclear scare. Not only did a whole bunch of people have fallout shelters, we also had real plans on what to do when the bombs start to fall.

My family knows that everyone should make their way to Lake Fontaine, south of the Smokey Mountains. See you there at the end of the world!

@sophieschmieg I speak so frequently of dairy farms in response to depressing/catastrophic infosec news that "dairy farm" has practically become a unit of measure.

I see I'm not alone.

@sophieschmieg

I have never trusted AES considering the source.

For some reason, there are hardware instructions.

#SiliconTurtles

@SpaceLifeForm what is so untrustworthy about the Belgians?

@sophieschmieg

Tux does not live there.

https://words.filippo.io/the-ecb-penguin/

https://www.nist.gov/news-events/news/2023/05/nist-updates-fips-197-advanced-encryption-standard-aes

This update makes no technical changes to the algorithm specified in the standard, which was originally published in 2001.

The ECB Penguin

@SpaceLifeForm what does ECB mode have to do with anything here?! This is not a problem with AES, or even NIST.

@sophieschmieg

I obviously misunderstood your point.

I know you know the math.

@sophieschmieg I'll be switching to chacha and converting to the cult of djb.

All hail our grumpy lord and savior

@sophieschmieg let me know if you need a blacksmith and glassblower.
@amanda_walker we can have a full medieval village. Only that you actually have the required skills, while I do not.