Mastodawn

just adrienne Sep 29, 2023

Periodic reminder that "don't speak ill of the dead" is for, like, not mentioning at her funeral that Aunt Sally was a drunk and a lousy cook. It's not for suppressing public discussion of public figures and their complicated legacies.

Or, put another way, the obligation to "speak truth to power" is way more important than the obligation "not to speak ill of the dead". One is about justice and the other is about politeness. To be frank, FUCK politeness.

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emberquill

Sep 30, 2023

@adrienne I feel like "don't speak ill of the dead at their own funeral" is a better way to say it. I don't even 100% agree with that, but I can understand maybe avoiding airing grievances at an event meant to honor them.

Won't stop me from dancing on certain people's graves when they do finally kick the bucket, though.

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just adrienne

@emberquill Really it's not just at the funeral, per se: it's "don't be a shithead to innocent people who are grieving". You can tell the truth about how horrible someone was without being gratuitously cruel to people who loved them. But again, this doesn't apply at all to public figures whose public actions affect zillions of people! Their loved ones aren't reading social media (or if they are, they sure as hell shouldn't be, and i'm not prepared to make that anyone else's responsibility.)