Periodic reminder that "don't speak ill of the dead" is for, like, not mentioning at her funeral that Aunt Sally was a drunk and a lousy cook. It's not for suppressing public discussion of public figures and their complicated legacies.

Or, put another way, the obligation to "speak truth to power" is way more important than the obligation "not to speak ill of the dead". One is about justice and the other is about politeness. To be frank, FUCK politeness.

@adrienne fuck politeness indeed.

i don't want it to applied to relatives either. too often "don't speak ill of the dead" is used to conceal abuse.

aunt Sally was a drunk who beat her kids and i spit on her grave.

(i don't actually have an aunt Sally)

@tarajdactyl Yeah, you should never feel compelled to shut up about abuse! I do think there are reasons not to confront people who are deep in a grief process with GRATUITOUS discussion of their relative's shitheadedness, but there's a difference between "don't be deliberately cruel" and "keep quiet".