William Pietri

If you see somebody described as "he's just like that" or "he can't help himself", ask if he's like that when he might be held accountable. E.g., in front of his boss, his mom, at church, when a video camera is recording.

Occasionally, he really can't help himself. But it usually turns out that he can, and that there's a pattern to when he can't. E.g., he's a jerk to juniors and peer women, but perfectly controlled in front of his male boss. That's when you know it's not illness, it's abuse.

Sep 23, 2023 at 2:41pmWeb
Show threadSarah FackrellSep 23, 2023
@williampietri Yes, thank you! And even if he is "just like that" all the time, that doesn't mean anyone should have to put themselves through being around/associated with him, if they can avoid it.
Show threadC.S.StrowbridgeSep 23, 2023

@williampietri

If he truly "can't help himself", then he should be removed from society for the safety of others.

Show threadMaggie MaybeSep 23, 2023
@williampietri and seriously, if he can’t help himself does he need some sort of mental health treatment? If he literally can’t control himself someone needs to get him some help.
Show threadRiley S. FaelanSep 23, 2023
@williampietri To play the jerk's advocate, wouldn't it be feasible that there's a medical condition that makes one jerk by default, but lets him crank the niceness level up at the cost of spoons, and he doesn't got spoons for the whole day?
Show threadWilliam PietriSep 23, 2023
@riley
That's not a medical condition, that's the human condition. We all have finite capacity. We all get frustrated when it runs low. But there are patterns to what people do when that happens.
Show threadRiley S. FaelanSep 23, 2023

@williampietri I'm not arguing for the search of such a condition. It probably doesn't exist. My point is, the structure of your argument might be a wee bit problematic, because it rhymes with popular if ill-advised justifications of oppressing people with well-known, well-documented medical problems. Such as people who can sometimes, for a little while, raise up from their wheelchairs and take a couple of steps.

The endpoint of your argument I agree with, but I'd prefer to get there without lending support and credence to the Patriarchy's notions of "non-standard people" on the way.

Show threadthe Amygdalai LamaMay 1, 2024
@riley @williampietri
Yeah. It's not "the Human Condition," it's a matter of neurotype, that's the Allistic Human Condition.
.
It's the model their whole world is built on, and the thing Sapolsky described about stress, when you have to take it from above, you survive it by passing it on down.
.
It's not universal enough to be the entire Human Condition - but it's not rare enough to be an "illness."
So, neurotype.
Show threadAviva GaryJan 8, 2024
@williampietri truth... especially true if they are your "friend"
Show threadCharlotte WalkerMay 1, 2024
@williampietri @CosmicTraveler Yep. My mum’s husband is an absolute childish arsehole around us but Tom has seen him operate in a work context and he appeared to be a perfectly normal person.
Show threadAmpeliosMay 1, 2024

@williampietri Right up there with, does he ever break his OWN things or is it only yours that get wrecked when he's having a bad day?

Honestly this stuff should be taught in HS health classes.

Show threadLillyLyle/Count MelancholiaSep 2, 2024
@williampietri It's patriarchy in action.
Show threadWilliam PietriSep 2, 2024
@LillyHerself Absolutely. Patriarchy deeply depends on abuse.