pamela_weaverTop tip for men who don't want to be accused of being creepy arounnd women: Don't be creepy around women.
Walter van Holst@pamela_weaver Which is a useless tip. Nobody wants to be creepy.
Liam Proven@whvholst @pamela_weaver Exactly. This is not only useless "advice", it's a sort of a dark pattern of passive-aggression.
"People don't like that thing you do, so don't do it."
"What thing?"
"THAT THING YOU DO! Stop it!"
... without ever explaining what they are doing, how they are doing it, or what else they should do instead or how.
Random bloke: *exists*
"NOT THAT WAY!"
@whvholst @pamela_weaver If you find the way that some men behave unsettling, then you have work to do too: identify what it is that they do, how they behave, when, where, in what contexts. And that's not enough either. Then you have to work out what you would prefer them to do, in response to what.
@whvholst @pamela_weaver
I became a dad at 51 years old, am happily in a relationship now, & will soon marry my daughter's mum.
But I've spent most of my life single & lonely, & I was in my 40s before one ex partner gave me a hint (1, singular) how to act.
Very very few people *choose* to be weird or creepy. So they cannot just _choose_ NOT to be.
Don't just attack. As a general life rule, don't criticize without offering alternatives. There's behaviour you dislike? Spell it out. Help.