So predictable, he thinks he's in control, and that this gives him leverage over his pet chuds, and everyone else will just shut up.

Pat yourself on the titanium plate buddy!

So everyone in the list of payees was manually given a thumbs up by Twitter for payouts, probably Elon personally.

These are the brand ambassadors he has chosen.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/07/13/twitter-creators-payments-right-wing/

Far-right Twitter influencers first on Elon Musk’s monetization scheme

The first beneficiaries appear to be high-profile influencers like Andrew Tate, DC Draino, Ian Miles Cheong, Benny Johnson and Ashley St. Clair.

The Washington Post

I can't wait for Elon to create Tay 2.0

if they're training it on twitter data I bet Elon also had them scrape the shit out of reddit

somewhere catshit is losing their mind that they couldn't even get a single stack. lol
this is amazing. the company is saddled with debt because *he saddled it with debt* and 50% advertising drop is because he scared away all of the advertisers.
other than that, that’s not how leveraged buyouts work. typically you take a company private so that you can do major reorganization without having to be accountable to the stock market. this means taking losses for months or years until the business is on the track where you think it will make money. what you don’t do is buy it, set the factory on fire, and then say “we’re not making any more changes until this returns to profitability”

the big lol is that elon has neither the business vision of what to do, the managerial capacity to implement it, nor the stomach for taking losses until his plan is implemented. every other week he wakes up in a cold sweat thinking about those mounting losses and freaks out and does something like fire more people or make another dumb edict like this one.

of course his fans don't understand that so he can just act like it was already failing and he's fixing it

man refuses to be funny and yet is constantly a punchline
lol cat turd is having a sad

Elon Musk is the richest despite being obviously and visibly incompetent.

There's no secret scheme. There's no deliberate plan. He's just that bad at this and has nobody to save him from himself. He's making what he thinks are the best decisions to run a platform because he's the World's Greatest Engineer and he's got solutions all these other idiots haven't thought of yet. When his decision blows up in his face, he blames someone else and goes on to his next blunder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ko8C3surjhM

Elon Sues The Lawyers That Forced Him to Buy Twitter

YouTube

lmao cat turd is having a full on meltdown because he wasn't one of elon's hand chosen recipients of a big bag of cash for posting and now his life means nothing

this is the inevitable outcome of being a musk stan

I just hope they finally learn something from it

former national security advisor and insurrectionist General Mike Flynn is with catturd
Thank you Dr. Bronner's

Elon's having himself a day

1. Doesn't understand the quote

2. Questions about my "not the CEO" shirt etc.

3. Pay me money to avoid any fraud enabled by my company. #NotExtortion

lol don't change your username
sending them some intern's bullshit draft press release will surely convince the advertisers to stay

The Explosive Finale of The Twitter Files

Falun Gong! Hell yeah! Get that energy wheel spinning!!!

I think Elon Musk might be the dumbest asshole on the planet
Elon Musk says Twitter will change logo from bird to an X

Latest controversial change involves billionaire saying an ‘interim X’ design will replace the distinctive pale-blue bird

The Guardian

imagine given up (whatever small) brand recognition twitter has for... X.

twitter has managed to get people to use "tweet" and "tweeting" as nouns and verbs.

"Yo dawg, just X me the deets"

we're only just beginning to imagine what this company is or will do, which is a very good position to be in, having purchased it almost a year ago

zombo.com has a better pitch than this

I'm still not sure if she's just there to collect a paycheck and doesn't give a fuck about anything else anymore (understandable), or if there's some actual thought process behind those words beyond saying what musk wants

I'd assume the former for almost anyone, but she's a marketing exec so who knows

Here he is STILL MAD that they wouldn’t run PayPal on windows NT in 1999

Even if you knew nothing about the state of webscale hosted services on windows vs *nix, which he clearly didn't and somehow still doesn't, what the fuck would video game development have to do with hosted service infrastructure in fucking 1999?

like, what platform was fucking hotmail being hosted on in 1999?

hint: it was not windows

it's me, the ceo, looking to spend our entire yearly revenue on hardware and sql licenses to build something slower and less reliable than we have today

If he has sunk cost fallacy / buyer's remorse over paying too much for x.com back in 1998 I can only imagine what he's going to be doing with the long-dead twitter brand in 20 years.

lol one of his stooges is gonna report on more of twitter's internal politics

but now it'll be ~the x files~

it isn't fucking "minimalist" "art deco" you tool you don't have any fucking idea what you're talking about aghghggghhhh

also can we just take a moment to appreciate how bad these all are?

Hilariously enough there is a chance that, since Twitter is incredibly fucking popular in Japan, the stupid rename will lead to Twitter Japan being known as X Japan... which is the name of one of the most famous rock bands in Japan.

Amazing foresight by Musk, literal brain genius

"Thanks for the name, idiot. You want all this Twitter shit we're throwing away?"

https://mashable.com/article/elon-musk-twitter-take-x-handle-from-original-user

Elon Musk takes @x handle from its original user. He got zero dollars for it.

Here's how it went down.

Mashable
No one left at Twitter knows how to change a handle

Elon's sycophants getting pretty tinfoily once again. These morons will never be satisfied lol

Strangely, banks sometimes refuse to deal with people because of things they said, too. Like "I hate paying my bills on time" is a good example.

Elon figured out how to get rid of Community Notes on his own posts
Apparently some Nazi posted CP, elon wrote a post about how it’s too difficult to appeal bans, and reinstated his account sans CP. he is now posting deepfake nudes of AOC, which Elon is surely jacking to

is it back or is this just another case of the twitter backend struggling for eventual consistency?

who knows!

even the backend people at twitter might not. could be an issue with something no one left at the company knows about, or it could be elon making changes to prod directly without telling anyone. they'll know when he tweets about it, same as everyone else

this man is the biggest idiot there is. here's a little story.

we are all pretty sure that the spark that lit the fuse here was the @elonjet account. the world's richest man was furious that some teenager was using publicly available data to report publicly on the movements of his publicly registered airplane through public airspace (this reaction was caused by amphetamine-induced paranoia).

first he tried to give the kid a tesla, an offer which was sensibly declined.

then he tried to pay him off for reportedly some amount under $10,000, which was also declined. after this rejection elon had a poopants hissy fit and started buying up twitter stock through third parties, accumulating nearly 10% of the company and failing to disclose same in the legally required way. presumably he was planning to gain some amount of leverage with the company and force them to disable the account.

a few months later, it became apparent that elon was doing this.

the twitter board, sensibly not wanting to let musk start dictating terms, agreed on a plan. they would invite elon to join the board, but simultaneously implement measures that would prevent him from owning more than 15% of the company.

when elon heard what the board had in mind, he shit right through the seat of his pants, got blasted on adderall and ketamine, and ordered his lawyers to make an offer to buy the company outright. we all know how it proceeded from there.

but that instigating event, the elonjet account. how he was so mad that anyone could track his jet and see where he was going?

the FAA already has a program to let aircraft owners obfuscate transponder IDs. you apply for the program and after some back and forth you can have an alternate id that is not registered to you in the civil aircraft registry.

https://www.faa.gov/air_traffic/technology/equipadsb/privacy

elon musk actually did enroll in this program, but the incompetent yes-men who work for him bungled the job and didn't program the alternate id into the plane correctly, letting the @elonjet account continue to track him.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/7kx8wa/emails-show-spacex-bungled-elon-musks-private-jet-privacy

a month after elon discovered this fuckup, he started buying twitter stock.

the end

Emails Show SpaceX Bungled Elon Musk's Private Jet Privacy

FOIA docs reveal that SpaceX enrolled Elon Musk's jet in a federal program to prevent tracking, failed to implement it properly, then asked for help during the @ElonJet meltdown.

big ol' lol, but you know, not. because he did that, and he's done it to others, and he keeps doing it, and no one is going to stop him

and no one is ever going to try to sue him for defamation again after what happened to vernon unsworth

Everyone asking what kind of person would still work at Twitter, now you know.

"Hunt Hunt the woke bird. Skin em alive and eat them bones!!! I do this act for Elon!"

https://fortune.com/2023/07/26/passionate-elon-musk-employees-are-coating-the-twitter-offices-in-black-paint-and-boasting-about-hunting-and-eradicating-remnants-of-the-twitter-bird/

Passionate Elon Musk employees are coating the Twitter offices in black paint, and boasting about ‘hunting’ and eradicating remnants of the Twitter Bird

While some longtime users decried the demise of the Twitter brand, a group of zealous X employees swept through the San Francisco headquarters on mission to purge remnants of the old brand.

Fortune
@cspam 🤮