École des Bro-ArtsJul 25, 2023

This took me a while to figure out and I'm still not sure how to put it into words, but it's been on my mind a lot the last few years:

"Community" isn't a label you adopt or a party you show up to. It's what you bring to the table.

If you want to feel connected when you walk into the bar, you have to introduce yourself to people and make conversation. If you want to play, you have to approach and ask for what you want. If you want a certain kind of event, you gotta organize, donate, volunteer.

Show threadÉcole des Bro-ArtsJul 25, 2023

I think it's easy to imagine "the community" as this Big Powerful Organized Thing that owes us understanding and support. Why did the contest not provide ASL interpretation? Why didn't someone welcome me on my first night at the bar and introduce me to everyone? How could Springfield Leather provide the wrong kind of bootblack stand? This community is trash!

These are all great things. We *should* have terps! It's *nice* when someone takes a newcomer under their wing personally.

Show threadÉcole des Bro-ArtsJul 25, 2023
What you don't necessarily see is that the only local pup who could volunteer to interpret got COVID, and there wasn't money or time to hire a professional. That the organizers of the bar night can't physically keep track of everyone who walks in, or control entry to a bar open to the public. That the committee had a volunteer who put hundreds of dollars and weeks of time into building a bootblack stand, but due to work and illness it wasn't ready in time; the committee improvised.
Show threadÉcole des Bro-ArtsJul 25, 2023

Broadly speaking, our classes and events run on shoestring budgets. Almost everyone involved is an unpaid, overworked volunteer desperately trying to keep an ungainly plane in the air. Our boards are tiny and piece together events in their free time through a network of personal favors and the goodwill of sponsors. All of this runs on people just like you.

You gotta show up. Buy raffle tickets. Lend your sparkling wit. Volunteer in whatever capacity you can. Sit on committee. That's community.

Show threadJason F. (OC, California)Jul 25, 2023
@aphyr I feel very lucky that the SLSC Education Committee has enough folks that we can hold one to three classes a month. It took a lot of time and work to get there. And still, our board and other committees are understaffed. When I ask folks with opinions and good ideas if they want to be involved, they don't have time. Or, they served on some other org's board and say they can't handle the "drama" or rage-quit because no one was doing the work but them
Show threadJason F. (OC, California)Jul 25, 2023
@aphyr That leads to is a community where the same people run orgs/events all the time. That means 1, nothing changes for the better, and instead burnout/repetition cause a slow decline; 2, leadership doesn't diversify, remains largely older, male and/or white; 3, most community events are ones that focus on making money for venues/producers; 4, carpetbaggers (people who aren't kinky or in the community) swoop in to produce those events, which are largely about selling alcohol to gay men.
Show threadchmpsJul 25, 2023

@yearofthepig @aphyr Tho this is more from protest groups: a common dynamic is also that there's a pressure for performance (events, tickets, high profile speeches) and/or the defacto org boss is high octane -> educational / reachout/ chill events are deprioritised -> new ppl inflow drops -> rinse and repeat till burnout :(

And again, newcomers don't necessarily get that such spaces (even with some funding or merch) simply can't exist as for-profits. Reproductive work still sucks in that way, yay.

Show threadJason F. (OC, California)

@chmps @aphyr Right!

At SLSC, we focus on education, service, play, and broadcasting diverse voices in queer kink. Everyone at the table (board, committee members, educators, venue partners) is part of deciding what success is and looks like. As a result, we together decided to deprioritize events that don't fill a gap and don't feel pressure to put all our effort in "going big."

Jul 25, 2023 at 4:26pmWeb
Show threadchmpsJul 25, 2023
@yearofthepig @aphyr that's really cool. Also you two are for doing this.