Matthew | The Autistic CoachJul 9, 2023

Don’t be edgy.

Edgy is being passive-aggressive.

Being passive-aggressive is an NT communication style, not an autistic one.

Some autistic people internalize this as part of their masks.

If you want to be passive-aggressive, just be “aggressive” and say what you want. Be you. Don’t sugar coat.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic

Show threadprkJul 9, 2023
@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic Don’t be an absolutist. Be aware of nuance. Be aware of edge (heh) cases. Are you really sure that edgy is always passive-aggressive?
Show threadMatthew | The Autistic CoachJul 9, 2023
@prk @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic there is of course no such thing as an absolute. nothing is absolute and everything "depends". that doesn't mean we don't speak about things or try to see patterns. it isn't always passive-aggressive, but it usually is.
Show threadprkJul 9, 2023
@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic That’s where it’s important to acknowledge the nuance and avoid absolutist statements. Eg “Consider if your edgy is actually passive aggressive”
Show threadMatthew | The Autistic CoachJul 9, 2023

@prk @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic that is implied in all statements I make. I acknowledge nuance and abhor absolutes and speak about it on a daily basis here. I cannot preface every single statement with a disclaimer. I'm sorry if that's what you need.

Again - i don't speak for all autistic people nor do all autistic people share the same experiences. everyone is unique. everyone has their own experience. there are some experiences which are more common than others, but just because you don't fit into that doesn't make it so.

Now - making edgy statements which are not clearly communicated it an NT communication form. Most autistic people do not respond well to unclear communication. It's dysregulating. No, not every statement made with snide in the effort to make oneself seem cool to others is passive-aggressive, but they usually are.

Show threadVero.Occam.Rigah 🏳️‍🌈♾️💛🖤💜⚪Jul 9, 2023
@theautisticcoach @prk @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic i can't see if it was meant literally, the not being able to do disclaimers all the time, but actually I personally think disclaimers are great. for scientific precision, and for kindness in language. now if you want to speak in general, I don't see where this affirmation might be even coming from..
Show threadMatthew | The Autistic Coach

@veroalgoz @prk @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic

disclaimers are great, but they cannot be made for every single thing. I am a long-time autistic advocate in the wild and online. I speak daily about how we all have different experiences and how we are all unique. I post here as I let my thoughts out. I cannot preface each and every thing I write. There is an element of good faith that needs to be given to people, especially to those who are very active here in promoting neuro-affirming things.

Scientific precision is for academic studies. It is not a reasonable expectation that everyone here needs to speak with scientific precision. If that's the case, no one should speak whatsoever. As @gringene pointed out, sealioning is very problematic.

Jul 9, 2023 at 12:47pmWeb
Show threadVero.Occam.Rigah 🏳️‍🌈♾️💛🖤💜⚪Jul 9, 2023
@theautisticcoach @prk @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic @gringene I am asking for precision in language, as in a person who deals bad with ambiguity, not asking for scientific precision. but imho such a big affirmation like that should be funded, if not by science (even if, there are not do many studies about us, and most of those we can't trust, etc), by a common understanding. specially if as you say, you are such a prominent contributor (imho, it should not create an hierarchy), as a lot of people read you and care for what you say. I stop here, on the part of precision, I think it is not going anywhere.
Show threadMatthew | The Autistic CoachJul 9, 2023

@veroalgoz @prk @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic @gringene

understood re: precision of language. but now we are losing the point of my original post, which is people not using non precise edgy language in order to harm. i don't create a hierarchy and you're right, we shouldn't have any. i say that only because I am the daily target of bad faith comments and questions on this topic and it is exhausting. i didn't put myself in this position, so to have to clarify every single word is extremely dysregulating for me, just like it is for you. people assume that because they have a following that they are somehow responsible to all and that they can "take it". i'm an autistic adult, just like everyone else. being trolled left and right is dysregulating and i want the passive aggressive and edgy comments to stop. that's it. you are not making them, of course, but focusing on my precise language not being absolute on a post i made about the use of inprecise cobative language.

Show threadDavid Eccles 🌻🇵🇸6x🩹🛡️Jul 9, 2023

@theautisticcoach

> I didn't put myself in this position

You kinda did, by creating gup.pe groups and hashtags and spamming them with your content. You're choosing to put yourself on a stage that is used for discussion about issues that are of concern to autistic people.

You are the person that I most frequently see posting in these groups; it's unusually and uncomfortably frequent. It reminds me of Mormons knocking on my door and asking to have a little chat about my opinion of Easter.