Meanwhile, after being arrested by the police for being too theatrical in a dinosaur museum Dinosaur Showmanship Weirdo is making noodles or something and recounting his PTSD war stories, from that one famous war where Japan fought everyone at once and (eventually) lost.

Anyway, back then, a dinosaur helped the Japanese defend some island and scared away the Americans. This was probably Godzilla; I'm mildly disappointed to see him backing a fascist bid for world conquest.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Back in the modern days, a government bureaucracy is tracking the UFO and calling in their top godzilla expert, Colonel Mustardess. We are given some backstory for movies I haven't seen yet.

Shirtless Writer Guy has found a shirt and is meeting a professor guy. Someone needs to tell both of them that birds are dinosaurs, dammit.

Then some helicopters fly off to check out an island and then mysteriously explode. Some JSDF guys find a landed UFO.

#Monsterdon Back in Japan, the UFO threads and the Dinosaur plot threads are threatening to merge, with now Shirtful Writer Guy trying to solve the mystery. I approve of this development; UFOs and Dinosaurs are both good movie ingredients, combining them seems like a good idea.

I LOVE how the old photos we have are of an original looking Godzilla suit just with World War 2 people in front of it.

#Monsterdon oooh we get to see Type 74 tanks! A very good looking model of tank! And also some other military vehicles I don't know.

Anyway, they're surrounding the UFO because that's what the army is supposed to do in UFO movies.

#Monsterdon "In 1944 Godzilla was a regular dinosaur..." is a good sentence.

Someone should name a chicken Godzilla.

#Monsterdon the inside of the time machine is a little stark but adequately science fictioney. Not sure why all the future people are white except for the Japanese lady.

In addition to their fashion sense, the future people have androids and some kind of global government; and also... flying genetically engineered cat bug things that are like psychic pets.

I am curious about the society of these future people, but this movie probably will not answer most of my questions.

#Monsterdon

As a typical android, before I inspect the naval bombardment, I must don my crash test dummy helmet and hover across the jungle.

#Monsterdon Oh no Godzilla was shot by the battleship but still got up and smashed some moire army guys, one of whom said "Dude" before approaching it. Pretty sure no American said "Dude" in 1944 in that manner, but y'know, maybe they should have.

Very modern of the bad acting US navy guys to say the island needs scientists and not more soldiers.

#Monsterdon Not exactly impressed with "We'll give you plans to make a new Japan". Like, I dunno, it seems people live in the Old Japan now; like can you just lead Ghidorah out over the sea?

Also not impressed with the lady who brought an invasive genetically engineered species to the past.

#Monsterdon It is revealed that Japan being destroyed was a lie, and future japan actually BUYS WHOLE CONTINENTS. This outcome doesn't sound all that great to me either.

I'd probably be okay with Japan buying Antarctica or something, but not Africa or South America. A lot of people like live there and probably don't want to be a Japanese colony.

#Monsterdon I like how the bureaucracy dudes are just like "Oh naturally Godzilla is bigger; he ate more radiation, and eating the modern radiation makes him bigger!"

Yes, this makes perfect sense.

#Monsterdon After some weird laser battle in the time ship and some villain gloating and a Star Trek fist fight, I'm still not quite sure how time travel is supposed to work in this movie?

Like if you change the past and go back to the future, do the future people know that you left to go change the past? Or does something more sensible happen? Or something even less sensible?

#Monsterdon I like how Godzilla was sited in Sapporo and Tokyo (which is way more south) is immediately evacuating.

To be fair, this is just good civil planning. If a Godzilla is sited anywhere, you should probably immediately start evacuating Tokyo.

#Monsterdon Wait did we just propose making a cyborg Ghidorah to fight the radioactive super Godzilla?

I'm not sure if I like this plan more or less than the illegal corporate submarine full of nuclear waste missiles.

#Monsterdon Future Girl Emi returns, at the helm of a terrifying Cyborg Ghidorah, which she is piloting like a giant mecha. It's cool that only the missing head is a cyborg one.

I might have missed any scene establishing where the Cyborg Ghidorah cockpit is; maybe it's in the cyborg head, or possibly in the chest?

#Monsterdon Okay so maybe my Godzilla Grip (TM) prediction was wrong and the plan was to just drop him somewhere... like the angels dropping people at the end of Dogma?

However, that plan was partly foiled by dinosaur lasers and now an Undead Godzilla will return?

#Monsterdon I have finished #GodzillaVsKingGhidorah . It was super confusing, probably because it seemed to have several 30 minute movies from separate genres embedded within it and each of them only partly made sense.

I think it had some social commentary embedded in it, but I'm too tired to figure out what it was and if it was good or not.

#Monsterdon my wild guess is that maybe the nationalistic business guy was sort of an avatar for Japan and Godzilla was like... reverse America.

In that Godzilla saved the business guy during wartime, but later destroyed him during peacetime. So its like the irony of the US bombing Japan and then helping reconstruct it... only backwards?

But that is a wild guess and is probably 50 kilometers off.