Steph Infection 🦠
JenniferplusplusIf there's one lesson I could get all the nice liberals to take from the last few months, it's that being even a little bit supportive of marginalized people will cause the worst people in the world to self select out of your spaces. They'll do it loudly and try to make it maximally uncomfortable for the nice liberals, but then they'll be gone and your spaces will be so much nicer.
Like, I know you loath conflict. I get it. But in the cases it will happen either way? Voicing support for marginalized people will make terrible people leave. You'll always have conflicts, but the stakes you have to deal with get so much lower.
eshamow@jenniferplusplus SO MUCH YES. To your latter point, those people will cause the conflict in insidious ways later, might as well be SUPER CLEAR about inclusivity early and let exclusive people exclude themselves right out of it
So much time spent rules lawyering about whether it's desirable to make people welcome who make everyone else unwelcome.
Brooke Binkowski@jenniferplusplus @eshamow oh my God realizing I don't owe the shitty right-wingers in my life my time has been sooooooooo fuckin liberating
@brooklynmarie liberating and to Jennifer's original point the conversations after are SO much healthier and safer and full of joy and opportunities for learning and healing. @jenniferplusplus
Carl Anthony@brooklynmarie @jenniferplusplus @eshamow I think a lot of people have come to the sad and unfortunate realization that some of these types are within their own family.
Jennifer Kayla | Theogrin 🦊@AutoVisionNews @brooklynmarie @jenniferplusplus @eshamow
Unpleasant though the realization may be, cutting a toxic family member out, as quickly as you can, is a matter of not just self-preservation but general mental wellness, and making it clear that such toxicity is unwelcome in general is just one step on that path.
Since my dear brother departed for his own preferred standard of company, my life has been a million times less unhealthy. No more walking on eggshells every minute.
Yohannon@jenniferplusplus OMG this ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼
When I was young I was afraid of rejection so I feared being my true, incredibly weird/queer self.
Only now do I realize that not be a bug, but a FEATURE. 👏🏼
Danielle Navarro@jenniferplusplus The converse is also true. When the nice liberals choose to avoid conflict and stay quiet when the worst people harass marginalised people, it's the marginased people who leave and you're left with an incredibly toxic and horrible space
Marc "ACAB" Godin@jenniferplusplus And if you don't do this, the people who are the targets of that ignorance and hate will leave your spaces and you'll be stuck with the worst people in the world calling you their friend.
Mrs RavenI just block. If you follow me, you will only see those jerks once.
I don't engage, explain, or give them any feedback at all.
Glyph@jenniferplusplus @AlSweigart we quietly made this decision in my small open source spaces nearly a decade ago now and I cannot emphasize enough how much it was the right call. The initial conflict is not easy! But once you set those boundaries it is so, so worth it. There are always more decent people than hateful chuds and they’re always more fun to hang out with.