Joanne Fisher
#transrights #gender
May 18, 2023 at 11:38amWeb
Show threadFediThing has moved!May 18, 2023

@Jedigirl

Also, on a non-trans but related note, there are some people who get really upset by gender neutral names, even traditional ones.

And some people (presumably the same ones) get upset by languages without gender pronouns.

It's like there's some kind of weird compulsion in some people to filter everything a person does or says through their gender, and when they can't do that they get really frustrated. It's very strange. 🤔

Show threadHFMMay 18, 2023

@Jedigirl

Good rule of thumb. Easy to remember 😏✌️

@sabik

Show threadSlimer!May 18, 2023
@Jedigirl 🙌🙌🙌
Show threadKuJoe 💞May 18, 2023
@Jedigirl Somebody reported this post and I've never ignored a report so quickly. 🤣
Show threadMichelle HughesMay 18, 2023

@Jedigirl

Okay, but what if I don't know if it's okay to think they're hot? I wouldn't want the people who are reading my thoughts to think I have the wrong sexual orientation!

Show threadGrinning Cat   🚫👑May 18, 2023

@MegaMichelle @Jedigirl Reminds me of the musician Tom Robinson (bothways.com) writing that he's been with men who hadn't been with another man before or since, but the chemistry between the two of them was simply right [and they were open to that!].

He celebrates that "...sexuality is a lot wider, looser and more unpredictable than some people would have you believe..."

Show threadCedar Fen Farm Cedar Fen FarmMay 19, 2023
@MegaMichelle @Jedigirl
I've occasionally thought an animal was hot. Who cares about gender. 🔥
Show threadRichelle SparrowMay 18, 2023

@Jedigirl Why do I worry about it? I do not want to disrespect someone by misgendering them. I work in a hospitality field where the use of honorifics is expected. Messing up on 'Miss' or 'Mister' is bad guest service. And Mx. sounds too much like Miss with my dentures.

I am open to suggestions...

Show threadCedar Fen Farm Cedar Fen FarmMay 19, 2023
@mudd0359 @Jedigirl ask
Show threadRichelle SparrowMay 19, 2023
@oldoldcojote
Sadly, asking did not work very well for me. Some cis-folk were offended because 'it should be obvious'. Some trans-folk would interpret my polite inquiry as an attack on their gender expression/identity. And asking about pronouns is too controversial in my (overtly anti-LGBT) state.
Show threadCedar Fen Farm Cedar Fen FarmMay 20, 2023
All we can do is try our best to be polite.
Show thread🇨🇦 TRH 🇨🇦May 19, 2023
@mudd0359 @Jedigirl Use their first names, if they object to that, they will probably happily tell you what they prefer to be called. 😁
Show threadScott KnowlesMay 18, 2023
@Jedigirl Ask them their name and use it. They'll let you know where on the gender spectrum they are.
Show threadCedar Fen Farm Cedar Fen FarmMay 19, 2023
@Jedigirl
Not meant to be negative, but this just made me laugh because bothering to worry about such a thing is so totally not part of my reality it caught me up short. And I was taught its impolite and none of my business when I was a kid 67 years ago. People these days are outrageously obsessed w others bodies and business.😎
Show threadSir Thomas Goodwin, M.S.May 19, 2023
@Jedigirl When I was growing up we were taught to mind your business and no one else's.
Show threadJoanne FisherMay 19, 2023
@tgoodwin yes exactly.
Show threadJustin MacleodMay 19, 2023
@Jedigirl All very well unless you need to talk to them, in which case I can understand some awkwardness. I wouldn't know how to get clarity in a way that wouldn't cause offense or make me look stupid.
Show threadJoanne FisherMay 19, 2023

@JustinMac84 in what situations would you need to know their gender anyway? Just wondering.

The best thing to do is after you make introductions and you are still unclear, is to ask them. It's far better than making the wrong assumption.

Show threadJustin MacleodMay 19, 2023
@Jedigirl @JustinMac84 Like if you are talking to a third person in the conversation and must use pronouns. If you want to help them. Whatever. Also, the way you act around a member of the same genda may be different. There may be things you would do with someone of the same genda that might be perceived as hitting on them were they a member of the opposite genda.
Show threadSmytheMay 19, 2023
@Jedigirl Had a customer the other day notice the pronouns on my name badge and actually do a pearl-clutch inhale to their friend. “Oh, my, look at that!” I’m a cisgender male, I have them on there as an ally. “Do they make you put that on there?” “No, but it doesn’t hurt me and helps out my friends.” Another gasp. Some people…
Show threadTechyDadMay 21, 2023

@Jedigirl My father once called me up to tell me that he saw a "man wearing a dress." He obviously wanted me to reply "this is surely the collapse of society!!!" Instead I said "So?"

My father asked me if I'd wear a dress. I told him that it wasn't for me, but I wasn't going to judge someone if that's what they wanted to do.

I'm Jewish. I've never felt threatened by a trans person. You know who has threatened me? Christians who insisted that I HAD to convert & Nazi lovers who wanted me to die.

Show threadTechyDadMay 21, 2023

@Jedigirl And that last one wasn't an exaggeration. Back in high school, I had a kid tell me (knowing that I'm Jewish) "the only thing Hitler did wrong was not finishing the job." I'm very nonviolent, but I really wanted to punch him at that moment. (A friend of mine held me back.)

Sadly, the Nazis and Nazi wannabes are now MORE emboldened instead of being driven further into the fringes of society.