WysosiriusMay 6, 2023
deilann v -0.2.1.  

don't wait for your kid to come out

tell them right now: i support and love you no matter your gender or sexuality

the bills in some states mandating teachers inform parents if their child is doing any kind of gender exploration does more than put kids whose parents will be violent at risk

it means any kids who are unsure how their parent will react cannot safely do any sort of gender exploration then come out to their parents when they feel ready

so right now. tell your kid. don't give them any room for doubt.

May 5, 2023 at 4:16amWeb
Show threadTimothy Schwinghamer (he/him)May 5, 2023
@deilann when I came out to my Mom, the first thing she said was "We always knew there was something wrong with you." 🤦🏻‍♂️ on the one hand she tries to be supportive but on the other hand, she thinks that the reason there are pedophiles in the Catholic Church (which has abused children of all kinds for hundreds of years) is because they became sexually permissive (in the 70s) and allowed gay young men into the priesthood 🤡
Show threaddeilann v -0.2.1.  May 5, 2023
@schwinghamer she tried
Show threadAriaflameMay 5, 2023
@schwinghamer @deilann Oh dear....
Show threadKee HinckleyMay 5, 2023
@deilann @DimestoreDiamond I took every opportunity I saw with my daughters to make sure they knew that anything LGBTQ was perfectly normal. My (ex-)wife even once commented that she thought I must “want them to be gay”. It wasn’t even specifically for if they came out…I just wanted them to be good people. (Joke’s on her, *I’m* the one who came out :)
Show threaddeilann v -0.2.1.  May 5, 2023

@nazgul

it takes every opportunity to even slightly push through the haze of cisheteronormativity we're all meandering in

@DimestoreDiamond

Show threadAlice 🔥 End Of An EraMay 5, 2023

@deilann my mom told me that constantly, and I still managed to internalize that I needed to hide it. Then again, I grew up in the South and no one taught me that gender exploration was even a thing in the first place. So, I'd say please try to learn enough that you can at least give your child a brief understanding of why you're saying what you're saying, too. Maybe I'm biased, but I feel I would have figured this part of my life out sooner if I knew what my options were in the first place and that it was even a "thing" to be trans and transition. Especially considering how socially taboo the whole subject was for me growing up outside my own home.  

Let your child know they have your support, you will defend them, they have options, and they deserve to be happy. It's fucking scary out there for us, and if I was too scared to even think about exploring myself in that way back then, I can't imagine how it is for kids now.

Show threadKaelin RyanMay 5, 2023

@deilann
this is how my mother raised me
15 years ago I was 10
I didn't know about my sexuality or gender
but I knew she would love and support me
no matter what,
I didn't feel a need to have a coming out
I didn't have any pressure over it

simply brought home my first bf eventually
introduced him as such, and it was perfectly normal

this is the ideal,
this is what we need

I got insanely lucky

Show threadNate  May 5, 2023
@deilann All my life my parents told me "if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend" (knowledge of nonbinary identities was lacking at that time), so when I realized, huh, I like girls and only girls, I knew I was going to be supported. I'm grateful af.
Show threadone non-non-blondeMay 5, 2023
@deilann tell them more than that. Tell them if they’re trans you’ll actively support their transition.
Show threadKimMay 8, 2023
@deilann And the hard part (as someone whose parents made the right noises then proceeded to make me unwelcome): Actually mean it.