Mr. Jones
myrmepropagandistSomething came in the mail today. I can only draw one conclusion.
Don't let them shop online unsupervised. That's all I'm saying.
πβπ¦οΈππ±π@futurebird Hmm, so I shouldn't have given my cat it's own creditcard? 
Well it's hard to resist all the begging I get it.
Rustled TeapotIt's dangerous to go alone, take this.
Honestly I think it's just... dangerous.
Ro@futurebird You gotta do what you gotta do, sometimes.
@Are0h Stay ready and you wonβt need to get ready.
Mark Dingemanse
Jim in Yamaguchi 
@futurebird
It's time is come at last ..
I regret to inform you, your only chance at survival is the expensive cat food, and lots of it.
It's time is come at last ..
I regret to inform you, your only chance at survival is the expensive cat food, and lots of it.
Satsuma@futurebird okay but did your cats keep the receipt because i too want a teeny knife
Sylvhem
So what I want to know is why is there a discord emoji of a cat with a knife???
Is this a known thing? Little cats wanting comparably little sharp knives???
@futurebird How would they take over the world if they werenβt armed 
?
?
maloki π
Nic
Heliograph
Gabriel Pettier@futurebird @Sylvhem i think it was a meme at some point that cats are plotting to kill us all.
@futurebird @Sylvhem the oatmeal might have been the source, but i'm not sure. https://theoatmeal.com/comics/cat_kill
E. ChangI don't know who came up with it or why, but I do use it when I'm feeling stabby.
Spammy Snarker L.J.
Skiriki Fyxe@futurebird @Sylvhem I do not know if this emoji is influenced by something that happened... but there is a story about a cat, who specialized in throwing knives!
https://twitter.com/NeolithicSheep/status/1195567519773478912
And Sergei has official merch too. https://www.redbubble.com/i/sticker/Not-so-Jolly-Sergi-by-LizardbethArt/42911383.EJUG5
extinct went extinct@futurebird knife culture 
Josh@futurebird so when a human orders a knife itβs βfor practical purposesβ, but when cats order one itβs βsuspiciousβ and they say βcats donβt need knivesβ
Wren Reilly@futurebird
Humans keep stealing the perfectly good knives that cats grow for themselves, so it's only fair.
Humans keep stealing the perfectly good knives that cats grow for themselves, so it's only fair.
cyborgneticz
It's Just Jenn π³οΈββ§οΈ@futurebird Maybe he's prepping for a fight with that Troll in Cat's Eye?
FS9-BS "Bad Survivor"@futurebird that seems unsafe π€
Sylvie Parris@futurebird is he trying out for the stage version of Puss in Boots?
She just might :)
Pet Pharmer@futurebird Very suspiciousπ§
π Undo Influence π
Did one of the Daves send it?
Sheila Bjeletich
Doug ππ¨π¦ 
@futurebird
A pussy Kirpan
A pussy Kirpan
Lew Perin@futurebird How many ants would it take to heft that thing?
Farah@futurebird condolences
This isn't even her only knife. π
I've failed to raise her right. She has turned to a life of crime.
@futurebird lmao
I blame those eyesβ¦ how can anyone say no to those eyes?? π
I blame those eyesβ¦ how can anyone say no to those eyes?? π
jafu πΊπ¦@futurebird No more wondering how the cat was going to eat your face after you died.
Knut MorΓ₯@futurebird
A mere 2% increase of the number of sharp pointy items at Picas disposal hardly covers inflation
A mere 2% increase of the number of sharp pointy items at Picas disposal hardly covers inflation
Load of Shananigans π¦₯ βοΈ@futurebird "I waz gonna chop vegetables for you." π
Alakest@futurebird It's cutest little Omerta-ish reminder.
RealGravitas -Citizen Saboteur
Chris Bohn@futurebird It's an Itty Bitty Bowie!
Serene 117@futurebird if I gave this to my cat, she would definitely use it to get my attention. She already pricks my leg when Iβm not giving her appropriate attention
dafitoo
Junpeng Lao π@futurebird Pica the Sushi chef π©βπ³
BeeCycling has moved@futurebird "Oh, good, it came. Just put it aside for me, would you? I'm working on growing thumbs."
Fluffgar π΄σ §σ ’σ ³σ £σ ΄σ Ώ HAS MOVED
Dima Pasechnik πΊπ¦ π³π±
Richard Workman@futurebird Have you seen the movie Cats Eyes?
Β§ Jason π₯New movie idea: Planet of the Cats
Just like planet of the apes but with cats.
Hollywood would eat it up!
Chris Wu πͺ@futurebird the only thing I could think of was the tiny troll that had a knife like that and fought a Cat (and lost) in Stephen Kingβs Catβs Eye movie. π€£
Bodling@futurebird
The mice. It's about the mice.
The mice. It's about the mice.
Kit Bashir@futurebird @kaybee335 signs your cat may be adventuring.
LeaBug@futurebird but that face ππ€ sus
T. Austin Brown@futurebird once you take it out of its sheath you canβt put it back until it has tasted the blood of an enemy.
wakest likes your bugs β@futurebird omg I want it