ThickBrickI really hate this general expectation that you’re supposed to unconditionally like your parents. I’ll describe the narcissistic things my mom does and people will still be like, “but that’s your mom!” Sometimes the energy is just not right in these family relationships.
ytetic@ThickBrick If she's a typical narcissist she will have gaslighted them into believing that any friction is all coming from you and she's just lovely and angelic. And sadly there is just nothing you can do about it in most cases. I lost my entire family on mother's side to her gaslighting bullshit.
@ytetic I really don’t have any real connection to our family anymore so I’m not hung up on “losing” any of them. I really stay to help her because I’m the only child and she has no partner and no friends. But she maintains this energy that I will help her with anything and gets mean when I say no.
@ytetic I have quite literally replaced any blood family structure I have with a group of gay men who are much more caring and accepting that have helped me through more things.
@ThickBrick eventually what happens is you develop a system for judging whether you've done the right thing independent of anything she says or does, because you know that's not real world but just another attempted manipulation. It gets really tricky when you have to make decisions about ie care homes that you know she's going to hate regardless of what's done, and you have to be able to know you've done what's right and not acted out of malice; and it has to be resilient cause she will pull out all the stops to try and manipulate you. It's one of the situations where I really wish I'd had siblings.
Erik@ThickBrick no one gets to tell you what your relationship is with anyone else.