mintpepperMar 23, 2023
Alice McFlurry 

Boss: Why is your work only 80% complete?

Me: Oh, yes! There’s a very good explanation for that.

In my last performance review, you noted that I was exceeding all expectations, but that you were only giving me a 4 out of 5 because you “never give 5s” because “there’s always room for improvement.”

As a result, I’ve taken the initiative to deliver at 4/5 capacity to ensure I’m performing according to your expectations.

As we’ve already established, I’m easily capable of performing at and above 100%, so please let me know once you’ve adjusted my performance rating to a 5 and I will adjust my performance accordingly.

Mar 23, 2023 at 7:08pmWeb
Show threadLogan Five ThousandMar 23, 2023
@Alice How did your boss take it? 😆
They don't deserve you and I hope you get a better job and a better boss.
Show threadAlice McFlurry Mar 23, 2023
@LoganFive Haha it’s just a joke. My current boss is incredible. This is really based on how I wish I would have responded to receiving that feedback in the past.
Show threadLogan Five ThousandMar 23, 2023

@Alice Oh good! I'm glad.

Yeah, if I talk about a bad boss, it's also from the past. It's hard to find a good boss!

Show threadAlkaMar 23, 2023
@Alice @LoganFive people in my area leave online reviews for products like this. like bitch what room for improvement is there in a fucking toothbrush just give it a 5 if it did its job lol.
Show threadkctiptonMar 24, 2023
@AlkaVirus @Alice @LoganFive Who rates toothbrushes? There's no point unless it somehow has a huge defect.
Show threadMorgan ⚧️Oct 18
@AlkaVirus @Alice @LoganFive I'd rather it for products than for people
Idgaf what people rate a toothbrush but if your gig worker did their job give them 5 stars or I'll give them your kneecaps (/j don't call the cops pls)
Show threadA Concerned ScientistMar 23, 2023

@Alice

Phew....the memories. I had that boss once. "I can't give you a perfect review" every damn year. Funny thing, when I quit he CRIED when I handed him my letter of resignation and told me he was under so much pressure from his bosses and he'd never be able to replace me with someone as good at the job. Oh well. I did not cry.

Show threadElle 💗Mar 23, 2023
@Alice Score me out of 1000 then
Show threadBuster McNuttMar 23, 2023

@Alice

I had a boss like that for a while. Eventually he made enough enemies and got himself shitcanned, the miserable sonofabitch.

Show threadScott PriestleyMar 23, 2023
@Alice I understand how frustrating that can be. At my global employer 3 is Meets Standard Requirements Usually. 4 is Meets Standard Requirements always. 5 is Meets and Exceeds Standard Requirements Frequently. 5's are tough but not out of reach and if they're achieved consistently it's an indication that career goals should be discussed and a more fulfilling role might be a good idea. This is where promotions happen if they're desired. Some folks performing at 5 are content. Great leaders!
Show threadTootUncommonMar 24, 2023
@scott_priestley @Alice
"exceeds expectations" often gets translated into "I didn't set my expectations high enough for you."
Show threadAlice McFlurry Mar 24, 2023

@BlueGrits @scott_priestley

That’s fine. You hired me to do a job and I did it better than expected. If you’d like to set higher goals, I’d be happy to discuss higher compensation.

Show threadScott PriestleyMar 24, 2023
@Alice @BlueGrits and that's exactly why promotions and role transitions are great in this example
Show threadeyrea 🇨🇦Apr 1, 2023
@scott_priestley @Alice @BlueGrits Except when you regularly get high scores, but promotions and role transitions never materialize, because they're not actually based on performance. That was my last job.
Show threadSarah Peper 🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇦Nov 20, 2024
@scott_priestley one problem I had with this approach the last time it applied to me: All potential promotions were to jobs that I would not want and would not be good at (in particular: managing people. I'm a machine whisperer, dammit!)
Show threadDB SchweinNov 14

@jay_peper @scott_priestley

and that's when they should bring money to the table.
They generally don't, but they should.

Show threadScott PriestleyMar 24, 2023
@BlueGrits @Alice Or the employee exceeds the expectations for the role and would benefit from transitioning to a more challenging and fulfilling role
Show threadÜberdurchschnittlauchNov 20, 2024
@scott_priestley @BlueGrits @Alice
I would really like to put the focus here on requirements vs. expectations, as I see the later as very subjective.
Show threadZZ BottomMar 23, 2023
@Alice 
Show threadSouthern LeftistMar 23, 2023
@Alice
I just exceed regardless of ratings.
Show threadMorgan ⚧️Nov 19, 2024
@south_lib @Alice how's that working out for you? Do you get paid enough?
Show threadLenaMar 23, 2023
@Alice Love it
Show threadnathan@fosstodon:~$Mar 23, 2023
@Alice my manager literally did this to me in my performance review on Tuesday.
Show threadAlice McFlurry Mar 23, 2023
@nathans420 Yeah, it’s definitely a “thing.”
Show threadAutoerotic DefenestrationNov 20, 2024
@nathans420 @Alice did they at least tell you *what* you need to improve?
Show threadGrumbleMar 23, 2023

@Alice Performance reviews are HR and middle management masturbation.

If you've got something to say about my work, please confine your comments to my pay envelope.

Show threadMWTMar 24, 2023
@grumble209 @Alice Hah. This is even more obvious as a factory worker. Every so often I get an email from HR saying that I'm 85% good at my job, and that they expect it to be at 95%, and I should pursue more training. It has an Uncanny Valley level of disconnect to what actually goes on in the factory, where as far as I can tell we're all doing just fine. Also, the email goes to my official company email address. Almost no one in the factory actually checks their official emails.
Show threadEssjay 🏳️‍🌈  Mar 23, 2023

@Alice

Remind your boss of that old IT Management staple; 'The 80 / 20 rule' 😂

Show threadBaylus C. BrooksMar 23, 2023
@Alice We either #VOTEBLUE2024 or we'll have to actually fight to get our democracy back!
Show threadChamomile HangoverMar 23, 2023
@Alice oh my fucking god. My former employer did this shit too.
Show threadSolver MaxMar 23, 2023
@Alice Setting good performance incentives is difficult.
A place where I worked had a performance target like:
"Adheres to x requirements 100% of the time"
With assessment of:
- Exceeds
- Meets
- Does not meet.
I never did figure out how to get Exceeds.
Show threadDarwin WoodkaMar 23, 2023
@Alice anything beyond work to rule is a 5 tho
Show threadfightingMar 23, 2023

@Alice lol. I used to work at a large tech company- my last review was based on multiple factors of which I had a literal 100.

I was asked “What else can you do to improve upon performance expectations”.

I resigned shortly after.

Show threadRadiDaddyMar 23, 2023
@Alice I’ve had my boss give me 5 stars only for HIS boss to tell him he couldn’t. It was never explained why it was a 5-point scale if you could never get 5 points.
Show threadSarah Peper 🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇦Nov 20, 2024
@RadiDaddy @Alice I once had that situation where upper management felt there were too many 5 star ratings and they insisted on 'balancing' the rating so there where less 5 star reviews
Show threadbirdpoofMar 23, 2023
@Alice
Not to mention pay raises and bonuses tied to "ratings"
Show threadcassiejjaMar 23, 2023
@Alice love it!!
Show threadtpushicMar 23, 2023
@Alice and that’s a follow :)
Show threadPeteMar 23, 2023
@Alice Performance reviews based on ratings are such BS because they almost always fail to measure the effect of the individual on the team. An individual can be only average at best at meeting their own goals, but can be the very glue that holds the whole team together.
Show threadAlice McFlurry Mar 23, 2023
@98Percent
On the other hand, the worst person on the team is often the one who always wants to be praised and rewarded for any minor contribution, and when it comes time for company awards, they’re often nominated by the manager because “they need the encouragement and you don’t.”
Show threadbirdpoofMar 23, 2023
@Alice @98Percent
Humans will never evolve out of the Peter Principal.....
Show threadPeteMar 23, 2023
@Alice Exactly. Some of the worst colleagues i have had in my career have been top achievers on an individual basis without contributing anything to the team’s performance. Alpha males, mostly. But this trait is not limited to males only, unfortunately.
Show threadvandenberglegsMar 23, 2023
@Alice yeah, we were literally told not to rate ourselves at the highest rating. Then we were told that bonuses were never happening again (though annual payrises are cemented in). We have zero incentive to do a better than passable job.
Show threadAlice McFlurry Mar 23, 2023
@vandenberglegs I am always going to do my best because it’s in my nature, but it doesn’t mean that the “system” doesn’t frustrate the hell out of me.
Show threadvandenberglegsMar 23, 2023
@Alice yeah same. I'd even be happy with "thanks, we appreciate the job you're doing" but don't even get that from management. Ah well, pay is good and work/life balance is great, so I keep plodding on.
Show threadAlice McFlurry Mar 23, 2023

@vandenberglegs I totally agree. I actually have a really great boss and my main post is based on past experience, but it’s definitely a real thing and a big problem.

All of the good workers get burnt out while all of the lazy/whiny brats keep getting promoted until the company achieves the corporate equivalent of Idiocracy and then everything implodes and the cycle repeats.

Show threadTomNov 22, 2023

@Alice @vandenberglegs it's kind of some shit that any rating system will definitely fail as they're inflexible and reward those who can work the system instead of just doing well at work. But, without some articulable standards usually advancement just ends up being cronyism and nepotism.

Almost like employment should be an adversarial system between management and an equally powerful union representation

Show threadSarah Peper 🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇦Nov 20, 2024
@vandenberglegs now /personally/ I prefer flat pay rises and abolishing individual bonuses. All bonus schemes I've experienced were some kind of scam anyway and demotivated much more than anything else
Show threadvandenberglegsNov 21, 2024
@jay_peper yep, I'm actually happy to have pay rises instead of bonuses. It works out better for tax purposes (in Australia at least) and they can't decide to take them away on the whim of management.
Show threadDally OgamiMar 23, 2023
@Alice malicious compliance ftw
Show threadPhoto Nutter from MelbourneMar 23, 2023
@Alice Spot on!
Show threadKelly GuimontMar 24, 2023
@Alice I love a good tale of malicious compliance. Well done.
Show threadJosh CaluetteMar 24, 2023

@Alice @mguhlin

Haha. Malicious compliance activated.

Show threadI TRIED TO TELL YOUMar 24, 2023
@Alice You, my good human, have successfully applied the Peter Principle!
Show threadNando161Mar 24, 2023
@Alice up the wage also
Show threadAlice McFlurry Mar 24, 2023
@nando161 Definitely implied, but I didn’t want to dilute the message within the post.
Show threadDebby RyanMar 24, 2023
@Alice This is PERFECT 100%!
Show threadTera 💀🗡️👻🦇🎃Mar 24, 2023
@Alice damn I feel this so hard. This was exactly the culture at my last job - like what is the incentive for me to put in my all if it's not even achievable?? Waste of time + effort