Mastodawn

Mar 23, 2023

Boss: Why is your work only 80% complete?

Me: Oh, yes! There’s a very good explanation for that.

In my last performance review, you noted that I was exceeding all expectations, but that you were only giving me a 4 out of 5 because you “never give 5s” because “there’s always room for improvement.”

As a result, I’ve taken the initiative to deliver at 4/5 capacity to ensure I’m performing according to your expectations.

As we’ve already established, I’m easily capable of performing at and above 100%, so please let me know once you’ve adjusted my performance rating to a 5 and I will adjust my performance accordingly.

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Grumble Mar 23, 2023

@Alice Performance reviews are HR and middle management masturbation.

If you've got something to say about my work, please confine your comments to my pay envelope.

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MWT

@grumble209 @Alice Hah. This is even more obvious as a factory worker. Every so often I get an email from HR saying that I'm 85% good at my job, and that they expect it to be at 95%, and I should pursue more training. It has an Uncanny Valley level of disconnect to what actually goes on in the factory, where as far as I can tell we're all doing just fine. Also, the email goes to my official company email address. Almost no one in the factory actually checks their official emails.