Caddi
#ADHD #COGNITIVEDISORDERS
I have fairly recently discovered that I have ADHD, and at 64 there is no way that I'll get diagnosed. My GP said it sounds as if you do have it, but resources are insufficient for children's diagnoses. The more I learn the more clear it becomes, but also I'm learning how to deal with it.
Can anyone advise me how to deal with those people who won't believe me, or who continue to tell me that I'm just looking for excuses for my continuous lateness, untidyness, etc?
Mar 22, 2023 at 11:45pmWeb
Show threadDJDarrenMar 23, 2023

@Caddi Honestly, those people can piss up a rope.

You believe you meet the criteria, but also have to accept that you're unlikely to get a formal diagnosis. So what else are you supposed to do? It's clear that if, by the age of 64, you've still not been able to stick to the demands of a neurotypical world, then you should just do you, and fuck every one else.

And if anyone thinks you're using it as an excuse, then you can poke their eyes out and blame the impulsivity of your ADHD.

Show threadCaddiMar 23, 2023
@DJDarren Thank you so much. I feel seen and heard. I especially like the idea that they can 'piss up a rooe'. I don't doubt that I have ADHD and I'm the one who would know.
Show threadOsciiMar 23, 2023

@Caddi You're 64. If you haven't mastered the art of meeting their expectations by now, you probably aren't going to, ADHD or no ADHD. They don't need to believe you, they need to accept you as you are, or ship out.

Good luck, though - it's easy for me to be all determined and fierce about it, because they aren't my people. It's harder when you care what they think.

Show threadCaddiMar 23, 2023
@Oscii I really wish I didn't care about their feelings - I guess I am always looking for approval. I am blessed to have a great son who pointed out my obvious traits of #ADHD. My Beloved is 'probably autistic' but sees no point in being diagnosed and accepts me. It's just my mother and sister, and my (ex?) colleagues. I really do care about them and their opinion of me.
Show threadOsciiMar 23, 2023

@Caddi I get it - I also struggle to get my mother to believe I'm good enough. It's really hard.

But the reality is, you're doing your best. You've been doing your best all along, and if they don't approve of you now, you might need to accept that they're never going to.

They aren't moulding you from chaotic teenager into functioning adult. You have a family and a job. You've succeeded in being what you needed to be, and the time to accept who you are was over forty years ago.

Show threadNikMar 23, 2023
@Caddi I have people in my life who won’t believe a thing is true until a doctor says so, so I tell them what they need to hear in order to save myself a world of hurt, frustration, and resentment. GP says it sounds like you have it—that’s close enough, I say.
Show thread⁰FisherTX14Mar 24, 2023
@Caddi
There are some people who only have the ability to react that way. Usually people with a complete and total lack of self awareness.
. Diagnosed at 68 and severe. My former partner, now roommate sees it as a long list of annoying lack of self discipline traits. Be around safe people.