Mastodawn

1) Church began singing a song that went like: “We are the church of [city name].”

Not the weirdest on its own, but it did seem like (in context) they believed they were the only Christians in that city (one of the biggest in its state).

2) “For those of you just joining us we’re doing our second week of study on the movie Juno.”

So many questions. Why are we studying a secular movie in church? Why did you need two weeks to do this? Why aren’t we even looking at the Bible?

3) “God doesn’t have emotions, He is pure logic. The devil is full of emotions. Be like God.”

Ok pastor, what about all the passages that declare God loves (John 3:16), has compassion (Psalm 135:14), is grieved (Genesis 6:6), has anger (Psalm 7:11), jealousy (Exodus 20:5), joy (Isaiah 62:5), etc? The Bible is clear that God has emotions. This line of thinking will make emotional people feel guilty over traits they may share with God Himself!

4) Height of the pandemic and the preacher talks about why we wear masks being to love on those who are immunocompromised (great point!). Immediately the guy sitting in front of us grunts and pulls his mask down.

5) Church announcements start off with the speaker gloating about his road trip over summer break and all the places he went. And then he went on to brag that he didn’t have to attend church because he was on a road trip, unlike everyone else in the room.

This list is far from exhaustive. Some of the weird things are so common most people fail to notice (like the American Flag being prominently displayed, the national anthem being sung, or the preacher taking pot shots at theologians/philosophers whose views they clearly don’t know.)

The weird quirks we see in churches are as many as there are people. None of it has dampened my faith in God, but it does make me wonder how some of these people became pastors.

6) Checked out a local church a few months ago where the preacher talked about all the bad cultural movements throughout the time he's been alive. Some of them I've never heard about, but then he got to more current movements like CRT and the woke agenda.

He made the claim that all of these movements had one thing in common: the goal was sex.

My guy, you don't know what you're talking about. Do some research before you plunge down this road. You're right that the hippie movement was about that, but I'm pretty sure every other movement was not, and I know for certain that you haven't read any source material on CRT and the Woke movement.

Daniel Rose Feb 5, 2024

@jfslicer My wife and I are weirdos. We’ve never church “shopped.” We knew when arriving to a town which church would likely share our doctrinal commitments. Anything we found we didn’t like at a particular church we believed was our calling to enter into.

Friends of ours still can’t believe that was our approach. 😂

@danielmrose I actually don't think that's too weird. I have always held that you'll never find a church that matches your theology perfectly. The problem now though is that we were targeted at our last church (see my pinned thread for more details) and so we're being extra careful with finding a new one. There are certain doctrinal combinations that are hard to find a church for because in evangelical spaces there's a lot of "if you don't agree with me your wrong and you're in sin."

Daniel Rose Feb 5, 2024

@jfslicer Oof. That’s brutal. Well, just move to Ypsilanti, MI. I have a place for you.

@danielmrose lol... my wife grew up in MI and has no desire to move back. But thanks!

Daniel Rose Feb 5, 2024

@jfslicer That’s fair. 😂

I’ll be praying for you all to find a landing place for community.

Richard Mar 13, 2023

@jfslicer that's odd, I've never been in a church where the national anthem has been sung.

@Aslanmane it’s my understanding that this is a weird American thing. I’ve not heard of this happening in any other country.

Scott Williams 🐧Mar 13, 2023

@jfslicer @Aslanmane I can do you one better. I've been in a service where they did the pledge of allegiance to the American flag in the middle of the service.

Also, Zondervan hymnals include the national anthem, America the Beautiful, and others.

(To be clear, I am very much not a fan of this kind of nationalism in churches.)

The Disreputable Bede Mar 15, 2023

@vwbusguy @jfslicer @Aslanmane A lot of folks at my church are very patriotic on stage, especially on July 4 and Thanksgiving. It used to annoy me, but then I realized that these people are all first-gen immigrants or refugees who are truly grateful for the U.S. It makes it more understandable.

Mar 15, 2023

@vwbusguy @Aslanmane @badbede it makes more sense for immigrants, but still using the church to worship the country is a very thin line to cross. We can’t serve two masters, and too many people who have been worshiping both country and God have shown over the last few years, they care far more about the country than God.

@Aslanmane @badbede @vwbusguy

Mar 15, 2023

I get that not everyone that loves their country worships it. Just pointing out that many have fallen because they think they can love both equally.

Dominic Grant Feb 5, 2024

@vwbusguy @jfslicer @Aslanmane Pastor in the UK here... Several UK hymnals include our National Anthem, but it's rare for it to be sung in churches other than on particular special occasions (typically Remembrance Sunday - kinda equivalent to Veterans Day; also when there's a new monarch). And even in those circumstances I'd insist on it being after the benediction, so technically outside of the worship service.

@dominicgrant @vwbusguy @Aslanmane Do you know if other churches in the UK also require it to be sung outside of the worship service like that?

Do you think congregants think of it the same way?

Genuinely curious.

Scott Williams 🐧Feb 5, 2024

@jfslicer @dominicgrant @Aslanmane Since "other churches" might include the Church of England, I'm certain it is required to be sung in service at various occasions. I assume "dissenters" are going to have a range of practice on this, with Anabaptists being particularly opposed to it.

Dominic Grant Feb 5, 2024

@vwbusguy @jfslicer @Aslanmane Yeah, should've clarified that I'm speaking from a Reformed perspective, hence "dissenting" / "nonconformist" in UK context. As for Church of England, AFAIK yes use of the National Anthem would be liturgically "required" within certain services but these would still be somewhat rare - by no means regular widespread practice. Outside CofE "required" would be too strong a word either way regarding placement or indeed use/non-use of the NA: practice & opinion varies!

Scott Williams 🐧Feb 5, 2024

@dominicgrant @jfslicer @Aslanmane Indeed. As a Methodist, myself, .... it's complicated. I've seen churches that have the country flag on the alter and do a pledge of allegiance to it during the service and others that see flags in the sanctuary at all as a form of idolatry (I lean to the latter, personally).

Scott Williams 🐧Feb 5, 2024

@dominicgrant @jfslicer @Aslanmane For better or worse, the UK has a State church, so that isn't too surprising. The US does not, so the only reason for its inclusion here is a willful nationalism.

dansully Mar 13, 2023

@jfslicer Big mega church known for it's "good bible teaching" ... went and heard a 30 minute sermon on the evils and unrighteousness of eating too much sugar. Yep. He was even mad they had donuts in the foyer, but he was the preacher, not in charge of the welcome committee. To their credit, it was a one-of-a-kind. They normally preach pretty good biblical stuff. But wow, what a weird weekend that was.

@dansully oh my! Did he point to any Scripture to support his anti-donut beliefs?

dansully Mar 13, 2023

@jfslicer I don't remember. I was so upset. That day helped shape some of my ideas about Christian community after that whole thing. I went to church that Sunday being really needy and that pastor was not the one that was going to help me with my needs.

@dansully Totally fair. I'm sorry that the church wasn't there for you the way it should be.

@jfslicer ☹️

@jfslicer Great thread and some great examples.
I was visiting a Pentecostal church once which took up an offering, realized it wasn't enough, then took up a second one. Imagine the first impression.

@royal My first thought was, yeah that's odd. But my second thought was sometimes the people of God need to be called out for their stinginess (or other sins) and I wonder what methods might be good for the pastors to do in that situation?

They should have said something like "if you're a guest, this isn't for you to participate in."

Tim ☑️ 🔭🌃📷🪨🚴🌳Feb 5, 2024

@jfslicer OK since you ask...

1) "Toronto" - I could leave it there, but it was amazing how there was _always_ _someone_ ready to catch when people _spontaneously_ fell over...

1b) approaching interval between two consecutive services - "let's get the chairs out the way for _when_ the holy spirit moves". When... *cough*

Tim ☑️ 🔭🌃📷🪨🚴🌳Feb 5, 2024

@jfslicer 2) new trick mid-"worship" session: have everybody do double-arm waist-bows at each point of the compass declaring "Jesus is lord of <town-name>"

2) "Just go find someone and pray for them" - the eejit who chose to stand beside me and place paw on shoulder and "pray", knowing precisely less than zero about me as a visitor to the church, learned the error of his presumptuous ways with one heck of a death-stare.

I think that'll do for now :)

@xylophilist Reminds me of a clip I saw of a church, I think in Arizona or Nevada that would have someone up from saying "We cast out the demon of ___" and another guy would hit a giant stick against the stage each time.