Twitter Death Cult
so mad at bluechecks that you end up with a system that is
a: redundant (double badging!) and confusing and
b: looks like the unicode fake verification the lamest goobers used to do
Twitter turning into ‘Elon forcing his terrible boomer ass tweets down everyone’s throats’ is exceeding my wildest expectations
And at least jay stile sold his site at a profit
oh my fucking god this is over his "go eagles" tweet that he deleted by the next morning
he's going to make his last remaining engineer force everyone to like 5 of musk's tweets before they can see one post on their timeline
just hard-code a 2M "like" head start onto every one of his tweets, maybe that'll shut him up
the future is being written entirely by pathetic idiot babymen
https://www.platformer.news/p/yes-elon-musk-created-a-special-system
My man was refreshing his tweet staring at his view count the whole time he was at the Super Bowl and then, instead of going to an after party orgy like a normal billionaire, got right on his private jet to yell at tired engineers who scrambled down to the office on a Sunday night.
Winning!
Imagining him calling an all-hands codeathon session to get this "problem" "fixed", frantically hoping they can do it without anybody outside the company finding out, because that's like the only thing that he really fears, being seen as a pitiful needy dweeb who has to buy his likes
All depends on secrecy. Every aspect of his self-worth hangs on whether they can make this work without anyone finding out.
And like two days later, boom lmao
I mean it wasn’t subtle. Overnight he was literally the only thing that would show up in that “for you” thing. Everyone noticed that twitter was forcing musk tweets to the top of the timeline, and anyone with a greater than baseline capacity for pattern recognition than him immediately connected the dots and figured out what he’d done.
I just didn’t realize the reason was even pettier than even we could imagine
Truly, reality is even more pathetic than the theories we come up with as a joke. The billionaire threw a toddler tantrum because the president of the United States got more engagement than he did. And he even deleted the tweet that started this with, I can only assume, tears of impotent rage in his little eyes.
This might genuinely be the most pathetic thing I have ever seen.
Guess that’s the end of the blocking feature...
I feel like the twitter engineers going to be up for another long day tomorrow
Wasn't it only like just a week ago that he was crowing about how he had saved Twitter from bankruptcy?
"trending toward breakeven" or some such nonsense lol
https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/15/elon-musk-aiming-to-appoint-new-twitter-ceo-by-end-of-2023.html
Another expose on twitter internals:
-Elon is on meth 24/7 and running things like a cartoon caricature of steve jobs, making everyone do 80 hour weeks and firing them for cause if they say the wrong word
-Twitter now has 1 principal engineer (he fired the other one for telling him he’s not popular)
-Elon also suggested banning everyone not from the US or Japan to cut costs and make the whole thing a subscription service
https://www.businessinsider.com/elon-musk-twitter-tesla-crisis-mood-intensity-2023-2
Damn, the man is desperate
jesus christ he's doing the dril tweet irl
this is all so pathetic
really funny that he's claiming a 'review' proves it's false but not actually posting any data
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/02/16/elon-musk-twitter/
the reduced engagement simply cannot be a result of people being driven off of the platform by elon's behavior or elon's shitty fucking tweets. he's posting just as well as he always has, and he has a hundred million followers. how many folllowers do you have??? aha exactly, not that many friend journalist!!! gottem
he literally can't face the reality that he simply is a repellent man baby with the worlds thinnest skin, he has to insist that no he's actually been posting bangers this whole time
so pissed about paying those service costs and couldn't prove definitively that the vendors were explicitly scamming the company that he's scrapping an industry wide best practices feature
what could go wrong
Twitter: had all the big mainstream brands that you'd see advertising on TV during the superbowl (but no longer)
Instragram: all the ads are for fake face creams or real pyramid schemes
Elon thinking Insta was something to emulate explains a lot
Ah, figures that Elon firing most of the workers got rid of everyone fighting the actual SMS fraud so he got hit by a big bill and now he thinks paywalling sms 2fa will fix it (it won't)
